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Part 2 - Individual Heroism (2)
Yuu-chan 2025.01.08. 11:26
But Hubbard didn’t come here to coax him. He stood up, and stepped in front of the soldier. Hubbard was already the same height as him.
“I’m going to the Outer City today. If you want to stop me, you can have me shot down. If I have to desert, I will.”
The Lieutenant General was taken aback, and for a moment, he just stared at Hubbard with his green eyes. Hubbard, seeing his expression, assumed there would be no comments from him, so he turned away. Before he reached the end of the corridor, the officer suddenly shouted.
“Nonsense! You wouldn’t survive like that. Come inside, you dumb child.”
The Lieutenant’s office felt like another world. As soon as Hubbard stepped in, it felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders – or more specifically, from his ears. The walls were covered with strange objects; they looked like stuffed cubes sewn onto the wall. They seemed soft, like the seat on a leather armchair. Hubbard couldn’t hear a single noise from outside. As if he stepped into a soundproof, vacuum-closed area; a room, which didn’t seem to belong to this world. It gave him such a relief that he almost forgot why he had come here.
The Lieutenant General sat down, and pointed at the chair on the opposite side of his desk. Hubbard slowly walked towards him, looking at the cabinets with their glass windows; many books, some trophies and framed certifications appeared behind the glass. The furniture was also much more imposing than the ones the Captain had in his office. He descended upon a chair while admiring this sight. This was a successful person, no wonder he got into his position so young. He seemed to be around his mid-thirties, and he already had such a high rank.
“Hubbard.” The man drew his attention back at him. His eyes pierced him with overwhelming power, and his face was extremely serious. “What is going on, Hubbard? Are you doing this, because your friend is in the Outer City?”
Hubbard was slightly astonished. He’d never mentioned to anyone before that he wanted to go out to find someone… How did this person know? His muscles cramped up, but then he saw the man’s lips slowly curling into a faint smile. It wasn’t much of a change, but because of his age, the smile made him look like a teenager.
“Are you thinking about how do I know? I’m the one who discovered your mental and physical abilities before you came to the military.” The man said; he elbowed on his desk, leaning closer to Hubbard, not blinking, just staring into his eyes. “I followed your path closely. Tang Lan… was it? The other boy? I know you were very close to him, and I heard about his sickness. I felt robbed when I learned that he hadn’t been accepted into the military. He was just as skilful as you. Are you feeling sad without him?”
Hubbard wanted to keep the eye contact, unconsciously taking it as a challenge, but when he realised this, it was much harder to keep it. In the end, he lost the staring contest, and looked at the Lieutenant’s hand. He had thin fingers, currently loosely intertwined with each other, as he spoke.
“No…” Hubbard answered, at last. He couldn’t say he was sad. He was determined, and he knew, he will not stay here, no matter what.
“I know you miss him.” After this, Hubbard had no time to react, the officer continued. “What do you think, what makes a General good?”
Hubbard looked up again. The man seemed not to want to scold him or yell at him, as his Captain did before; he was rather calm, and looked at him with those green eyes as if he knew everything.
“A good adjutant,” Hubbard answered. The Lieutenant’s eyes lit up for a moment, and his smile widened.
“Did you know that Generals can take adjutants from the Outer City?” There it came the next question in a much softer tone. “Maybe this would be more convenient for you. I knew from the moment I saw you that you could make an exceptional General, Hubbard. One day, you can lead the Northern Base. If you want, you can take him as your adjutant, there will be no objections. Have you considered this possibility yet? ”
It really seemed like the Lieutenant didn’t want to let him go. Hubbard indeed never heard of this option, despite that he was very well informed about military affairs. Was this person lying to make him stay?
Hubbard couldn’t tell for sure. He wanted to reply with a flat no, but then the picture of him having an army as a General appeared in front of him. Yes, actually, he saw himself as that leader, but when he was, he couldn’t find Tang Lan anymore. Hubbard felt confident in his belief that the vision would’ve turned into reality if he stayed on this path. There was no other option for him to choose, he had to get rid of the idea of being a General.
“He could die before I get there. And…” He paused, and his fist twitched. He’d never spoken about his friendship with anyone before; however, if it was already exposed in front of this person, there was no point in lying. “He doesn’t like it when I’m not with him. I’m his only friend.”
“If I were to take responsibility for his safety, would you stay?”
Hubbard’s fingers curled up tightly. Doubt crept from his stomach to his heart, and for a moment, he let his guard down, thinking about this offer. Could he rely on the Lieutenant’s words?
Maybe, if it hadn’t been about Tang Lan, he would’ve risked it.
“No.”
The visions were there. All of them were there. If he hadn’t followed the path he had taken to prevent those visions, his future with Tang Lan might be forever separated.
“I see. I was right. You really would make an excellent leader, who cares for his people. I just wish you would have more connections to care for, and stay. However, no matter what part of the base you live in, your talent could be beneficial for humanity. I’ll give you a pass. But I must warn you: the process of reassigning can take a while. You have to be patient.”
Hubbard opened his mouth, but he couldn’t say a word for a few seconds, while the Lieutenant already picked up his communicator, and started to contact someone in the United Front Center. This turn was so sudden that he could hardly believe the man had given up on his persuasion.
After the first call, the Lieutenant made a second one right away. This time it seemed like he was talking to the City Affairs Office; they needed to ask for a new ID card. The answer wasn’t immediate: when the officer put down his communicator, he looked at him.
“We need to wait for the department’s approval. It is unheard of to relocate students this time of the year. Until they contact me, let’s talk about your options in the Outer City. You can be adopted, or you can live in a collective with other kids.”
“I don’t want to be adopted,” He said, only after three seconds of thinking. “Lieutenant Gao, can you arrange my flat in the collective beside Tang Lan?” Hubbard hadn’t spoken with Tang Lan since he lived in the Outer City, but he just knew, his friend wouldn’t want to be in a family either.
The Lieutenant let out a deep sigh, and pulled back, turning to his computer screen, which Hubbard couldn’t see, sitting at the opposite side of the table. The man probably had enough of him and his requests. But he didn’t argue anymore, and for a long while, silence fell onto them. Hubbard didn’t feel pressured to talk, so he just looked around again. He enjoyed the extreme quietness of this soundproofed room. Only the keyboard’s clicking noise interrupted this silence, but even that felt calming. Hubbard couldn’t deceive himself: he loved this environment very much. For a moment, he thought, he could’ve had an office like this if he accepted the Lieutenant’s offer, and stayed here.
Because of the long silence, the man’s voice came abruptly, making him startle.
“Once you join the collective, you will have five years, before you can work. Take the base’s courses, and take a spot in the supply depots, or – because you were a part of the military – you can still try to apply to the City Defence Agency. This one would benefit your lifestyle more.” The Lieutenant’s eyes reflected a strong, white glow from the screen.
“I want to go out. I want to be in a mercenary team.” Hubbard said, which made the Lieutenant look up with a sharp gaze.
“I know. I would prefer you to be in one as well. Humanity needs soldiers like you. But don’t be hasty, some other factors must be considered first. Mercenaries are not like soldiers. The senior management applies different laws for mercenary teams than for military troops, and pretty much every team sets up different regulations for themselves. As a result, your wage can be completely dependent on them. They can deliberately prevent you from getting any money. They are not at all generous or caring, especially if they can take advantage of you.”
Hubbard frowned.
“One more reason to go.” He said without hesitation. Tang Lan and his obsession with heroism would be shattered in a team like that. “Lieutenant Gao, can I form a mercenary team?”
The officer stopped beating the keyboard, and now seemed more dumbfounded than previously when Hubbard told him that he was going to desert.
“No. Not now, at least. You need a minimum of five members to start it. And you can’t even join any other groups officially until you’re sixteen. Hubbard, when you started to break our rules, have you done any research on how life works in the Outer City?”
“No.”
It was obvious though. The Lieutenant once again sighed deeply, and leaned back in his chair. It seemed like he regretted allowing Hubbard to go to the other city, but he already set everything in motion. He contemplated something for a while, observing Hubbard’s face. At some point, he seemed to wander off in his mind.
“You’re strong and smart, but hard-headed. In our system, kids are being thrown into a group of human monsters without preparation. This world doesn’t favour our younglings. If not this endless war, we shouldn’t even discuss such horrible things… but since you and I have this opportunity now, let me give you some advice.” The Lieutenant General finally had spoken, and his voice was deeper. “If you don’t want to be taken advantage of in the Outer City, you must take advantage of them first. You have to have some other assets to overpower them.”
“How… sir?” Hubbard asked, forcing himself to speak courteously with the man. After all, his life was in the hands of this soldier.
“You’re horrible in persuasion, Hubbard.” The Lieutenant said flatly. Hubbard couldn’t argue. “Your attempts against me… let me tell you, they were too weak. You wouldn’t get anything in the Outer City without a better bargaining ability. So even if you want to go to the mercenaries, settle down with another facility first, and get some money.”
“Money?” Hubbard asked. This was the second time Lieutenant Gao mentioned it, it seemed like he thought it was a big deal for Hubbard. “I’m not interested in money.”
The man closed his eyes for a second.
“You may not, but others are.” He said calmly, before looking at him, and elbowing on his desk again. “You need to manipulate people. There are effective ways to make people do what you want, but most are illegal activities. “He paused. “The best way is to aim for their addictions. People in the Outer City are not very happy. They all have some sort of addiction. Addiction to money, sex, drugs, or other pleasures, which they would do anything for. If you have your business in one of those areas, it would never be a losing business, because there is always demand for them. You’re just a child, so I don’t want you to think about inappropriate intimacy. Drugs are controlled by the military; it’s risky to get involved with them. However, you can still make money legally. So if you take my advice to heart, Hubbard… make money. With your terrible social skills, you will need a lot…”
Hubbard frowned even more. He would’ve loved Tang Lan by his side to discuss this, but he couldn’t completely refute what the Lieutenant told him. He was an adult, he must have seen a lot, and experienced a lot.
“How do I know what is their addiction, sir?” He asked at last. The man didn’t answer for a couple of seconds.
“Hubbard, what do you think, who are the most successful soldiers in the Northern Base?”
“… From what perspective, sir?”
The corner of Lieutenant Gao’s mouth twitched again, but he immediately regained his expressionless face.
“Smart thinking.” Then he answered. “From the perspective of fighting against monsters.”
The boy stayed silent as he processed this question. The Lieutenant looked at him curiously as if he was expecting a flawless answer. Hubbard felt like the answer was much more layered than people would think. Anyone would say that obviously, the Generals are the most successful ones, with the many pledges and certifications. They are the most powerful people.
They were exceptional leaders; they were smart and capable of doing great things. Creating plans multiple steps ahead of the monsters, and controlling thousands and thousands of people; the base couldn’t put just anyone at the top. They were essential to win battles.
However, there was a rule in the base, which always bothered Hubbard, and he never tried to understand his own feelings about it on a deeper level, because he felt like he would lose his respect towards their leaders if he thought about it. Especially, since it was an understandable decision of the base, and no one had any objections against it. This decision was not to send their best leaders into the wilderness anymore. The base couldn’t risk their lives. The elite group of the highest-ranked people in the army was protected to the last moment until they were forced to fight in person. The Generals usually conducted their battles from inside the walls. But, because of this decision, these Generals could only do their job by the sacrifices of other soldiers, who actually went out to create maps, collect information and fight for their species. From this perspective, the Generals were dependent on their subordinates.
Hubbard thought this was ridiculous. He always felt slightly disappointed over this decision. When a person started using other people’s work and success to create his own, Hubbard couldn’t respect that much, but he didn’t like to admit it or think about it.
The man in front of him waited patiently. It just occurred to Hubbard that this person tried to teach him something. What would that be? What would be his response if Hubbard told him what he thought of the base’s attitude to this matter? Then, he realised, he wouldn’t have been asked about this in the first place if he didn’t think, Hubbard would come up with a different answer. Maybe some leaders are also not very happy with the base’s system.
After this realisation, the solution just flashed in his mind in the form of a memory. A memory of a training camp where soldiers kept two young boys safe for weeks in the harsh atmosphere of the wilderness.
“Judges, sir.”
“Why?” The Lieutenant asked right away, not indicating with his tone or face that Hubbard was correct or not.
“Because…” Hubbard licked his lips. “Because they know the enemy the best. People cannot win if they don’t know their enemies.”
“Do you want to be a Judge? You have everything for it.”
Hubbard opened his mouth, but he couldn’t answer just yet. He suspected that this was a “what if” question since they were already waiting for Hubbard’s reassignment, but he realised, he’d never considered taking this path, even when Tang Lan was around.
“No… I don’t think so, sir.” He said, but he couldn’t help, his voice sounded weaker. The officer noticed it, but he didn’t pressure him anymore.
“It’s the greatest loss for them then. They would’ve loved your skills there. I personally couldn’t get into their group. The Trial Court is insanely strict and hard to apply for. Unless someone would recommend you there, it’s almost impossible to get chosen for average people like me. But I could’ve recommended you… Well, just as I said before… you can harvest the fruits of your talent elsewhere. To answer your initial question, I have another one to ask: if you think Judges are the most successful in their jobs because they observe their enemies, then how can you be successful in manipulating people?”
“If I get to know them…” Hubbard replied, this time without hesitation.
“Exactly.” The Lieutenant General’s green eyes seemed to have white flames sparking up inside them. “You’re already very observant, smart and analytic. But you don’t seem to understand humans. Maybe because you’re also reserved, which is not a bad thing, but you must open up a little, and try to see their reasoning. This is the only way to know, how to get control over someone. I can assure you, money will do you a lot of favour. It’s the most dangerous tool that humans invented, apart from nuclear bombs. Because in the end, money is the tool you need to stay alive, like oxygen. Quite sad, isn’t it?”
“Yes, sir.” Hubbard had never known that money had such power. Maybe because for a child, there was no need to use it, but now it almost seemed like a weapon. Thankfully, he was good with weapons, but he still felt like this was a bit too much for him to handle alone. “So what can I do with money?”
“You can pay people to do things for you. Make them accept your ways. But this wouldn’t be cheap. Therefore, you need a good job first. Mercenaries can earn a lot, but only eventually. You have a strong personality. You would’ve thrived in the military, where strict training carries respect and protection from your trainers and captains. However, out there, it is not the case. Knowing you… you probably would have a hard time fitting into a mercenary team where you would be disrespected, so making a lot of money like that wouldn’t be very easy. If you don’t find a good team with a good Captain, you might be earning nothing for years.”
Hubbard’s head started to ache, and he struggled to feel motivated towards money. He really needed to meet up with Tang Lan. His friend will care of this matter since he was the smarter one.
But after this thought, another one just appeared in front of him.
“Sir, if I have money, can I buy healthy food in the Outer City?”
The Lieutenant paused, and stared at him for a few moments before unexpectedly laughed out loud.
“I should’ve listened to myself. I just said you’re a kid.” He said with less seriousness and more excitement over Hubbard’s willingness. “Of course, you would think of your stomach. Yes, exactly like that. You can eat a lot of good food if you have money.”
“I want to buy it for Tang Lan, sir.” He corrected the officer, who laughed again.
“You can buy it for the both of you. Hubbard. You can always choose to be a mercenary later. But if you choose to be a mercenary, and you don’t take the base’s courses, you can’t start with a good payment. After you collect some extra Rs, you can give up your job, and just go to the wilderness. By the way, it looks like Tang Lan also accepted the base’s courses. He might be choosing another job as well.”
Hubbard’s head started spinning upon hearing this information. Was Tang Lan following the same logic the Lieutenant General told him? Or did he change his mind again? Was it because his “boss” wasn’t there? He has to go there quickly.
As he was thinking about how he could urge the officer to work faster, the communicator finally rang out. The Lieutenant General picked it up, and for a while, he only listened and replied with short “yes”-es and “no”-s.
“For the reason of his transfer…” The officer only glanced at him for a very short time. “Write discipline. He sneaked out of the military base numerous times, disobeyed his teachers, initiated illegal fights, stole his Vice-Captain’s ID card, broke into a company grade officer’s office, and committed bribery against highly ranked officers. He doesn’t fit to serve in the military anymore. No, he cannot stay in the Main City either.”
There were other questions that the Lieutenant had to answer as well. Now, after his crimes were listed out loud, Hubbard felt surprised that he was not locked up in a jail a long time ago. Captain Ian said adults wouldn’t spoil the kids here, like in the Garden of Eden, but it seemed like they were still very forgiving towards them… or him specifically. Maybe it was just because of his talent. Captain Ian was a strict soldier, yet he still had some soft spot for the children he handled. This made Hubbard wonder, and got lost in his thoughts for a while.
Soon, the officer ended the call.
“They need one more approbation from a General.” He said. “I will take care of that. I also sent an email to the City Affairs Office’s headquarters. If I can’t arrange it for you to live beside Tang Lan, I will still try to place you near him… please, understand that we can’t just move out someone for you. Once the charges I listed earlier are officialised, you won’t be able to take more military training… But please, refrain from doing these crimes again, Hubbard, and just train diligently. You can stay in the military barracks, and you will receive food and medical attention until the decision is finalised.”
Hubbard accepted it, and just nodded.
“How much time do I have to wait?”
The Lieutenant General just looked at him for a while without a word, examining every single detail on Hubbard’s face as if he was still trying to understand something.
“You know, if you were my son, I wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your future like this.” He said out of nowhere, with a strange feeling in his voice. Hubbard had no idea what he was thinking about. “You’re very noble, wanting to follow your friend, very loyal as well. I would want you to stay here, and polish your abilities.”
Hubbard once again couldn’t reply right away. He felt like the Lieutenant said this to make him explain his decision further. As if he knew, he had an underlying motivation besides Tang Lan. Hubbard unexpectedly felt an urge to tell him about his visions. But he swallowed his words before they would come out. He felt confused because of this feeling. The man didn’t seem to be a bad person, but Hubbard didn’t know if he could trust him. Maybe he just wanted to trust him. It was a very strange emotion; he never had this feeling before, ever. He only trusted Tang Lan.
“If I’m your son, then I’m sorry to disappoint, sir.”
Lieutenant Gao’s face changed for a fleeting moment; his eyes seemed to grow a black mist, covering his irises, and something must have invaded his mind. The corner of his mouth twitched, as he smiled faintly.
“I guess, children sometimes hurt their parent’s feelings, am I right?”
Hubbard didn’t know. He didn’t know any parents, he never had adoptive parents, and he never wanted them. He didn’t even know anyone who had them, so he had no idea. But the question also seemed rather rhetorical as if the man asked himself.
Moreover, there was no reason to think, Hubbard would be his son. Anyone could be his biological father, he would never know. Maybe the officer thought about all the children in general, not just about him.
“Hubbard, I still want to make the best of this situation.” The man changed back to his serious tone. “I don’t want you to be wasted, because of the improper training of the mercenaries. I’ll be training you myself in the next few months. I’ll teach you about the Outer City as well. I’ll give instructions and your training plans to Captain Ian so that you can continue with him when I’m not available. We’ll do this until there is a change in the progress of your reassignment. I don’t accept any more objections. You can go now, I will contact you soon.”
Hubbard didn’t like the timeframe, but he had no idea of how else he could make it faster, and he was still treated very nicely by this man. He felt respect and gratitude, thus he just got up, and went to the door without a complaint. But when he opened it, he paused for a moment, and then turned his head back to the Lieutenant.
“It’s not a sacrifice, if I don’t want that future in the first place, sir.”
After that, he just left.
~HxT~
Hubbard’s mind was filled with pinches of these memories. Some of the words were so clear as if they had been spoken right at the moment; some of them muffled. He couldn’t recall the voices of those old people, and the details got blurry.
“What did I sacrifice?” Hubbard asked back. “Things are pretty good right now.”
Yes, everything went well. His false visions didn’t come true. He had money, so his lack of social skills wasn’t a problem anymore. He had a mercenary team, this way Tang Lan could stay obsessed with his heroism because Hubbard only allowed like-minded people to join. He could give good food to Tang Lan, so his friend wasn’t starving or got sick anymore. And they were a successful mercenary team, who travelled a lot outside the walls. Hubbard took this as a good life. He couldn’t ask for any better.
“Captain, you’re insightful and always victorious.” Tang Lan mocked him with his sarcastic tone. “Ten years later, you’re humankind’s number one frontline commander in the fight against monsters. If you aren’t careful, you can still save the world and be a hero.” After a pause, Tang Lan added with a lower voice. “It seems that you don’t particularly yearn to be a hero either.”
Hubbard couldn’t help, but laugh. This was a recurring theme of their conversations; still, to this day, Tang Lan wanted him to confess that he cares about heroism. Hubbard couldn’t say yes. He didn’t care. Tang Lan would mark him as selfish if he knew his motivation. Arranging his life around a certain someone wasn’t exactly heroic. Not as if he would’ve let anyone die, for that matter. But the only one, who made him do things, which others called “sacrifices”, was that certain someone.
“I have been one.” Hubbard thought, and just when Tang Lan asked back, he realised he had actually spoken.
“Been a what?”
“Sacrificed to…” He bit on his tongue. He wanted to say it another way, but the words slipped from his mind, and he couldn’t care less to catch them. He just said what he remembered. “To the vice-captain… himself.”
Ever since his visions, that was the case.
“You’ve gone nuts.” Tang Lan concluded, his voice trembled slightly.
“It’s… individual… heroism.” For some reason, he thought his statement was funny. This phrase flashed in his mind with great clarity: individual. Maybe because he heard it from Tang Lan too many times, it got engraved into his skull.
“… Motherfucker.” A kick and dull pain were his rewards for his joke, almost falling off the table, which he used as a bed now because keeping himself straight was impossible at the moment. “Have you read any books before, Hubbard? Can this phrase be used this way?”
Hubbard had no idea. They probably weren’t even thinking of the same meaning, but he had no strength or brainpower to explain himself, and his self-expressive skills suffered from the alcohol too much to even try. He just smiled into his arm, which was the most comfortable pillow he’d ever known, and soon he fell asleep, even though he heard that Tang Lan continue speaking.
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