Part 4 - Touch (2)
Yuu-chan 2025.01.22. 16:06
“We didn’t want to interfere with your relationship with the Vice-Captain… But the boys and I feel the same… We haven’t mentioned this to the Vice-Captain either. We hoped, you would fight it down between you two… But… We doubt that this mawkish man has the best interests in our Vice-Captain. In the very best scenario, we think he just wants to… fuck him, and have him as a trophy. And then steal him from us…. you know what I mean? I don’t think his feelings are pure if he has any. And the timing is so weird, that you two had an argument, and now he is making moves on the Vice-Captain as if he knows… Well, this is your private thing, excuse me, if I stepped over your boundaries, I just don’t think I want the Vice-Captain to leave us. And seeing how they are… getting closer and closer… well, you know. ”
Hubbard clenched his fist around his communicator, and his heart began pounding so strongly that it almost felt painful. He just realised, his whole body cramped up, and memories of Tang Lan’s voice echoed in his ears, as he told him, that he wasn’t planning to come home this night. Why didn’t he understand this before? Why didn’t he put two and two together? If he had found out what Tang Lan’s intention was after the date with his new person, he could’ve…
He suddenly paused.
He wanted to stop Tang Lan. Even though he had a policy about the freedom of his comrades, that he cannot control their private lives… he wanted to control Tang Lan’s, and this urge shocked him. Until now, he hadn’t really seen the source of his own uneasiness about the topic. Since Tang Lan started dating, he felt this uncomfortable boiling sensation inside his stomach, which he just ignored by forcing his principles on himself, and convincing himself that he had to let Tang Lan do what he wanted.
He didn’t want Tang Lan to have someone. This realisation was freeing and painful at the same time. Freeing, because every feeling he felt and every reaction he gave suddenly made sense. His confusion about the situation cleared, and that was a positive thing in his eyes. But at the same time, he was… late. He processed his feelings too slowly, and Tang Lan was already dating someone.
But it shouldn’t bother him this much, even if he disliked the current situation. Maybe it was because he knew now, that the other person was another Captain?
Perhaps, he wanted Tang Lan’s attention… and he wanted that attention pointed only at him, just like always. He knew this was something different already. This wasn’t just about the friendship they had before. Tang Lan was always loyal to him, and Hubbard wanted him to stay loyal. That meant he didn’t want his friend to have “another Captain” in his heart… In any way.
Even from the perspective of romance.
He felt hesitant all of a sudden. Romance… he never cared for that, and he never felt like he was missing out on it. In addition… he never imagined that Tang Lan would feel differently from him in this topic. Why… Why now? Because it turned out, Tang Lan cared for it? Hubbard never asked him specifically to stay away from relationships.
To clarify his own confusion and find out the answer, he imagined how he would feel if Tang Lan was on a date with him, instead of another Captain.
And he became certain at that moment. He didn’t just want Tang Lan to stay alone.
However…
“Captain… Captain, are you still there?” Pei’s voice got louder, and dragged him back from the depths of his mind. He cleared his throat, but before he could say anything, his comrade continued. “Captain… do you want us to help?”
“Help with what?” Hubbard’s voice was still hoarse.
“Well, you know… kidnapping Tang Lan, and giving him to you, and while you make peace with him, we can beat the shit out of that prick.”
Hubbard showed a dry smile to the other side of his room.
Before he could answer, a vision came.
It was quite a long time ago since he got one. He had smaller flashes, but nothing sort of serious, as they were in the beginning. Tang Lan was safe and happy, so there was no need for visions.
Now, it was quite different from the other ones as well. Usually, Hubbard was the main character in these false futures, and the main plot was his relationship with Tang Lan. They came when their paths were about to be separated in some ways, like a warning.
Hubbard couldn’t see himself in the picture this time. The scene he saw… could get some pages in a porn magazine, actually. Some people would definitely like to see it. But Hubbard’s face grew cold seeing it. In this picture, someone else was above Tang Lan, who submissively spread his legs wide. And this move was a reaction to the unfamiliar man’s touch on his naked thigh, while he was so close to Tang Lan that it was quite certain, their bodies had merged already.
The vision wasn’t very long, but it gave Hubbard another set of stomach pain before his heart started to calm down, and his eyes widened.
“No… no need. I’ll talk to him later.”
His comrades didn’t press him, and they let him skip this training. After Hubbard hung up the call, he sat on his bed for another twenty minutes to think about what he had just seen.
Although rarely, he did have some dreams like that in the past. Moreover, they were mostly about Tang Lan. Previously he thought it was because they were so close to each other that his mind only could make up scenarios with his friend, but he didn’t pay more attention to them. Once he was awake, he never thought about them anymore.
He immediately could tell, he didn’t like this vision. However… If this was a false vision, would that mean, Tang Lan would not let that person bed him? Can he even take this seriously? He wasn’t even in the picture, and he didn’t know how to stop this event either, as he did with his other visions. Tang Lan was already on a date, and Hubbard didn’t know where. Or what if this was different, because this time, it was true? Would that change something?
As his room got darker, he found out the answer. Something already changed. Not just because of the vision… but because of his conversation with Pei. Even if he had not seen the vision, he already had a different mindset about the situation. It didn’t matter, if Tang Lan submitted himself to someone else or not, Hubbard had to step up. He had to do something about it.
Calming down, and prioritising his main belief that the vision was false, and Tang Lan would come home after all, he decided to buy a conciliatory gift – Tang Lan’s favourite food – and wait for him at his door. It was already a bit late, and the corridor was only lit up by emergency lights when he sat down on the threshold of Tang Lan’s flat, and tilted his back to the metal door with the plastic bag in his hand. The food was still warm, he got it freshly from the market, and a light fragrance of meat escaped with the invisible mist it emitted. Hubbard just realised, he hadn’t even had a meal today yet.
He grew a bit cold and numb, sitting there for hours, changing his posture from time to time. Later, he drew his knees up, spreading his legs to find a comfortable spot, and leaned on them as if they were pillows. Since he started not feeling his limbs, he could’ve convinced himself that this position was fine enough.
In the end, he didn’t know, how much time had passed, until he heard the quiet steps in the corridor. No, at first, he didn’t want to get excited about them; it could’ve been someone else’s. He waited until those steps came close and stopped. When that happened, Hubbard lifted his head, and looked sideways.
A familiar figure stood in the shadows. Thanks to the very dim light, he only could see his silhouettes, and a few lines on his face, like his nose, and a patch of eyes and mouth.
Tang Lan just stood there, staring at him without saying a word for a long time. Hubbard slowly started unfolding his limbs to stand up as well. During this process, a low voice travelled over him on the few meters that had separated them.
“What are you doing?”
Hubbard straightened his back, and looked back at the figure. Tang Lan seemed small for some reason. His voice… was hoarse and shaky. Hubbard didn’t remember if he ever heard Tang Lan speaking like this. He attempted to decipher that tone. Was it anger? Or sadness? Or desperation? Or hopelessness? Maybe he was a bit tired as well.
“Why are you here?” The one emotion that increased in his tone with this question was definitely anger. “I told you… I told you I’m not coming back…”
“I know,” Hubbard answered concisely.
“Then why the fuck are you here?”
Tang Lan’s voice started to break. When Hubbard’s eyes got used to his silhouettes, he noticed that it wasn’t just the voice, that was shaking, but the whole person.
“I’ve waited for you,” Hubbard answered with the simple truth.
“You know, this… this is what drives me crazy… you… you…” Tang Lan’s anger and frustration couldn’t hold up anymore. He got a higher-pitched tone, and he silenced himself in the end when he became too emotional. As Tang Lan bit back his tears, Hubbard walked over him. He stopped right in front of him. From this close, he already could see the wrinkle between his eyebrows, his pressed lips, the twitching of the corner of those lips, and the strong sparkling of his eyes, although, he quickly looked down, and his dark eyelashes covered everything from Hubbard.
“I’m sorry,” Hubbard said in a low voice. “I don’t know what I did. But I’m sorry. I don’t like it when you don’t talk to me. I will make it right, whatever I did.” Because, regardless of his discovery about his feelings, he knew, that it was just one side of the problem. Since Tang Lan avoided him like a pest. So there must be something else with Tang Lan too. He took Pei’s advice, and just wanted to make peace first before they could discuss their relationship more deeply.
He also knew that Tang Lan needed a hug. When he placed his hand on the narrow waist, his friend tried to move away, but he firmly grabbed him, and pulled him closer. It was a half-hug, they stood slightly off, but it was alright; Hubbard just wanted Tang Lan to feel better.
It was Tang Lan’s thing after all. He was still “touchy”. Those frequent touches didn’t end with their childhood, especially after Hubbard allowed them that day. Tang Lan didn’t hold back anymore or get embarrassed over them, but he still kept it behind closed doors, as much as he could. No one really knew about this tendency of his.
His friend hesitated for a bit before his body slowly leaned against Hubbard’s. His head fell onto Hubbard’s right shoulder, and his fingers grabbed onto Hubbard’s clothes. He tried his hardest to choke his feelings, but he had to sniff sometimes, and gasped once or twice, his breathing was uneven.
Whatever oppressed Tang Lan this much, Hubbard had never seen him so sad and depressed. Tang Lan seemed lost as if he needed someone to show direction. Well, maybe this was just Hubbard’s impression. He just wanted to make sure that Tang Lan knew he was still there for him, no matter what he went through.
When they separated, and he saw that Tang Lan was still very upset, and on the verge of crying, he slowly directed him to the door, and once again, he reached for his ID card. His hip pocket was empty.
Tang Lan silently put his hand on the pocket of his chest. It looked like he learned how to store his card carefully. He swept the card himself, and opened the door, keeping it for Hubbard before he closed it again.
But then, he was just standing awkwardly in the middle of his room in the bright light, which made them squint after being in the dark for so long. Hubbard put the food on the table, and finally unpacked it. It wasn’t warm anymore, but it could still be delicious.
“Did you have dinner?”
Tang Lan made a noise between an affirmative and negative hum. Hubbard decided to ignore it.
“I bought your favourite. Let’s eat and drink.”
He knew that Tang Lan had alcohol here. He never asked why, but Tang Lan never even drank from it, so it didn’t really matter. Living in the same flat could only give that much privacy. He took out the bottle now. It was still sealed; it wasn’t a wine, it seemed like vodka, it was clear like water. The percentage sign on the label showed a pretty high number as well.
“How did you get this…” Hubbard murmured, but then opened it up right away. Just then Tang Lan replied.
“I thought… you only allow us to dh… drink when we are celebrating.” His voice was still tripping on his words. “You said we should never drink when we’re sad.”
“Mn,” Hubbard admitted it with a nod, and turned towards Tang Lan. Now, in the bright light, he seemed even more miserable, with his pale face, red, teary eyes, and shaking figure. It looked like the hug ended too fast. “We are celebrating today.”
“Celebrating what?” Tang Lan’s volume had risen by one octave. “That I was fucked for the first time in my life? You think it’s worth a celebration?”
Hubbard’s hand stopped mid-air, before he could pour a glass of alcohol, and slowly looked back at Tang Lan again. His friend stared at him with piercing, black eyes; however, his whole demeanour was telling Hubbard that he was about to explode. He didn’t know why he felt this way since he’d never seen Tang Lan explode before; he just knew.
He observed the grimacing face for a few long moments, staying calm, even when the picture of his latest vision flared up in front of him.
“Are you sure that’s what happened?” He asked back carefully.
Tang Lan’s face stretched, his jaw visibly dropped, and he was stunned for a long while, blankly looking at him as if he couldn’t process Hubbard’s question.
“What are…” Tang Lan had spoken up, but he was still in shock. “Why… you… are you… what do you think… how I would not be sure…”
“It’s not that.” Hubbard put down the bottle, and sighed before he reciprocated the sharp gaze again. “I don’t think you did it.”
“Why?” Tang Lan almost shouted at him, and took a few steps towards Hubbard. He stopped right in front of him, so close, that he could feel the heat of his body. “Do you think I swore celibacy? Can’t I fuck if I want? If I remember correctly, you were the one who offered me to pay for my first time in a brothel, what was it all about then?”
Hubbard paused for a short moment. He couldn’t tell Tang Lan what he saw in his vision. Because he still never explained them to him. Since his very first attempt, he never had a chance to bring it up, and even if he had, it would’ve been hard to explain, just as it was back in the day. It didn’t matter how well he could self-express himself, this one was still a delicate matter, and now… it seemed like, once again, this wasn’t the best time to start. His vision wasn’t the main problem; he had to make Tang Lan release his frustration. If he began explaining something unrelated to their current argument, Tang Lan would only be angrier with him.
“No, it’s not like that either.” He answered. “But you told me you wouldn’t come home. If you had done it with him, you wouldn’t be here. You would’ve stayed at his residence, as you promised. And… don’t forget, I’ve known you forever.”
Tang Lan opened his mouth, but the reply got stuck in his throat, and his face loosened when he understood Hubbard’s logic… after a few seconds, he seemed to admit his defeat. He hung his head, his anger dissipated, and he slowly started losing the fight against his emotions. He still tried to hide it, and swept away the first teardrops that had fallen on his face with a quick move.
“Drink. But first, let’s eat too.”
“I… I’ve had dinner…”
“Then… just drink.” With that, Hubbard shoved the glass of alcohol into Tang Lan’s hand, led him to the bed, controlled him by his shoulders, and made him sit on it. Only when Hubbard found his place beside him in the corner, tilting his back to the headrest, Tang Lan started to drink.
Hubbard grabbed a cup as well, but he found the beverage too strong for his empty stomach. Unlike Tang Lan, who not only drank the whole thing in one go, but refilled his glass immediately, and sent it down in the same way.
“Easy,” Hubbard warned him, and placed his hand on Tang Lan’s forearm. Maybe he didn’t need that touch, but he still wanted to keep touching him, until he could calm down. Sitting next to each other on this narrow bed did the job just well, without him trying too hard: their thighs and arms were pressed onto each other’s, Hubbard’s whole right side against Tang Lan’s whole left side, they were touching everywhere.
When the alcohol started to kick in, Tang Lan began crying. He cried silently, yet heart-wrenchingly, and it seemed like he wasn’t able to stop anytime soon. Hubbard didn’t say anything, but he put his right palm on the shaky shoulders, and gently stroked them.
After a while, Tang Lan seemed to relax, leaning towards Hubbard a bit more freely. Hubbard withdrew his hand when the amount of touches finally comforted him enough to dry up his tears. His strong shaking gradually faded into a light shiver.
“I…” Tang Lan started to speak; his voice was almost unrecognisably rusty from the long crying. “I didn’t…”
“I know.” Hubbard nodded. He really did know. His vision wasn’t that different from the previous ones.
“I couldn’t.” Tang Lan added, maybe hadn’t even heard Hubbard’s words. “I just… I couldn’t… When he touched me… I hated it.”
Hubbard only hummed to assure Tang Lan that he was listening. It was quite obvious that Tang Lan didn’t enjoy it – if a touchy person like him would say, he didn’t like someone touching him, it was very telling in itself.
“I wanted it to work. I’m so… so frustrated. I really… don’t know what to do. I… I don’t know, how I can continue this if…”
This wasn’t a confession that surprised Hubbard. Nevertheless, he was also certain, that his Vice-Captain’s frustration originated from their relationship somehow. Tang Lan was a pretty chill person normally. He never had such arguments with anyone, as he had with Hubbard. So it must be related to him.
“I’m sorry.” He said after a few moments of contemplating. Maybe he shouldn’t have said sorry again until Tang Lan told him the whole story and all of his feelings, but he really felt sorry for his own lack of empathy. He probably should’ve understood Tang Lan better.
Tang Lan let out a short, sad laugh.
“Sure you are…” He paused, and his fingers began stroking the glass he was holding in his hand. After a short time, he changed the topic. “How… how was your date?”
Hubbard genuinely didn’t know what Tang Lan was asking for a couple of seconds.
“Oh…” He said after the realisation. “I forgot to go.”
“… Are you for real?”
“It wasn’t that important. I was thinking about you.”
Tang Lan’s body lost its leftover tenseness.
“You’re making… it sound weird again… Motherfucker.” He replied, and although he just cursed at Hubbard, it made both of them feel better. Because Tang Lan’s head fell onto his shoulder, and Hubbard liked to feel him regaining his calm, and liked the touch too.
They both were startled when the light went off. It was late, after all. Their electricity wasn’t unlimited, and the time was late; however, the aurora was bright enough to light up the entire room. Silence descended upon them, and it was very peaceful. Hubbard felt his loneliness fading away, and he felt whole once again. He really needed Tang Lan by his side.
Tang Lan however didn’t stop drinking. Maybe he was already too drunk to make wise decisions, or he thought, since they were breaking their own rules of ‘no alcohol for heartbreak’, he could just drink as much as he wanted. Hubbard just let him. He was with his friend, so even if Tang Lan got totally wasted, he could watch over him and make sure, he was alright.
After half of that bottle of vodka, Tang Lan stopped shivering. He let out deep sighs, and murmured something under his nose, but his tongue tripped on itself, so Hubbard couldn’t make out what he was saying. He was sure, Tang Lan would fall asleep soon, so he just waited for that to happen, and planned to undress him, and put him to bed properly, before he would take a quick shower, and would do the same. He still had his mattress folded up in the depth of Tang Lan’s wardrobe – Tang Lan offered him to move Hubbard’s bed from the other flat here, or find another bed, a bigger one for the both of them, but Hubbard was comfortable enough on the floor.
But Tang Lan didn’t fall asleep. He started to rub his head on Hubbard’s shoulder first. Hubbard thought he still needed the touches, thus he let him do that, and faintly smiled. Then, he began noticing that Tang Lan was stirring quite a lot in his whole body; their stretched-out legs touched again and again, their hips pushed against each other more, and their arms intertwined on the narrow place between them.
Hot, smooth fingertips landed on the back of Hubbard’s right hand. It was like when a butterfly landed on a flower petal.
Tang Lan began stroking him there. Slowly, back and forth, from his wrist to his knuckles, then he wandered up to the edge of his sleeve. His head was still resting on Hubbard’s right shoulder. Hubbard couldn’t see his friend’s face, but it seemed like he really enjoyed doing this. For Hubbard on the other hand… it was a weird sensation. It was different from just touching each other casually. All of his hair stood up on his arms and legs from those light touches, and a sudden urge enveloped his body to move it somewhere, but he suppressed it. Taking a few deeper breaths, Hubbard twisted his wrist; this way the back of his hand escaped from the touches, but instead, he got them on his palm.
Tang Lan only stopped for a snap of a second, before he continued touching him – and instead of losing his courage by Hubbard’s movement, he became more daring. After a couple of strokes, his palm descended above Hubbard’s, and eventually pressed on it. Tang Lan’s palm was a bit damp and hot.
His fingers slithered up, and dug themselves between Hubbard’s fingers. Then, they retreated, caressing Hubbard’s palm all the way to his wrist, and above, pushing up his sleeve, trying to touch him on the sensitive inside part of his forearm. Hubbard lightly shivered from that touch, but before it became frighteningly intimate, Tang Lan’s fingers repeated the previous movement. Only that this time he was not slow or uncertain, he rubbed his fingers between Hubbard’s without hesitation and shame, once again, back and forth, and back and forth… with every single move he became more daring than before.
Hubbard also noticed that while doing this, Tang Lan wanted to press their wrists together as well. Hubbard’s heartbeat increased, and he found it harder to think clearly, forgetting his plans for the evening – it was pretty obvious that Tang Lan would not fall asleep any time soon.
He catered to Tang Lan’s desire, and with his free hand, he pulled up both of their sleeves to their upper arms, until it started to become a bit too tight and uncomfortable around their biceps. Now, pretty much their whole arms could touch and rub with each other. Tang Lan seemed to enjoy it even more.
So much more that his breath became fast and loud, and he moaned. He was still rubbing his forehead and nose to Hubbard, his leg was still moving up and down on the blanket, and their fingers continued to intertwine and separate, their palms pressed to each other, their delicate inside arms smoothly leaned on each other, and it was so incredibly intimate, that Hubbard gradually felt more and more restless himself. But only when Tang Lan’s right hand started to work, he understood the full meaning of his friend’s condition.
Tang Lan’s right hand slid down on his own crotch, and began massaging himself through his pants. The lights were off, and the dark clothes merged with the shadows, hence Hubbard couldn’t see his erection, but suddenly everything that Tang Lan did made sense. The thrusting and merging movements that their fingers had indicated, the man’s stirring and his temperature – because the heat Tang Lan was emitted was now very strongly present in Hubbard’s attention.
Hot waves ran through Hubbard as well, and settled in his manhood. His lap started burning, and his heart rate and breath fastened. He couldn’t keep it low, and the chain of events followed each other so quickly, that he started to drop behind them. In the next moment, Tang Lan zipped his pants, and started pushing it down to free himself.
Now… Hubbard could clearly see him. His friend’s skin tone was much lighter than his clothes, and the green light embraced him better – he was sitting on the edge of the bed, and the light enveloped his body, reflecting more on the naked, white parts…
Hubbard couldn’t look away for a long while, despite he wanted to respect his friend’s private life. With the discoveries Hubbard made today, this was a bit too much for him to suppress. They were never that shy not to be naked in front of each other, they showered with each other many times, but Tang Lan’s erection was not something he had ever seen. The vision he had, and the dreams he had about Tang Lan were incomparable to this.
Tang Lan impatiently started playing with himself, but only after a few jerks his movements had already fastened, and his fingers slid down and up smoothly. The hot waves swept through Hubbard’s face and neck, and increased the pulsation in his member just as quickly as Tang Lan was moving his hand. Hubbard became extremely self-conscious about his own shaking, about their arms, stretching and squeezing between their bodies, as the last border. Tang Lan’s left hand copied the rhythm of his right hand, he rubbed his fingers to Hubbard’s intensely.
Hubbard’s mouth was dry, his face burned, and he wanted to take himself out as well because his pants were painfully tight. Yet, he didn’t want to make any harsh moves. Tang Lan was delirious enough to feel safe doing this beside him; maybe he couldn’t even tell if this was reality or not, maybe he thought, it was just a dream. Hubbard didn’t want to disturb this feeling, and make him sober, causing him to feel ashamed. But this was torture. He’d never wanted someone as badly as he wanted his friend now. Even the idea floated up in his head, that he should take Tang Lan’s job, and let the man touch him instead. He felt like he would love those fingers around his throbbing member.
Instead of this, he took the lead between their hands: he began to caress Tang Lan’s thrusting hand, and now he was the one, who pushed his fingers between Tang Lan’s. His friend’s movements stopped for a moment when he felt Hubbard’s touch, but right after he moaned again, and started beating himself faster.
He heard his friend’s words in his ears again, and they carried a completely different meaning now: he was frustrated. It made even more sense. Being frustrated generally was one thing, but it didn’t rule out the possibility of being sexually frustrated. Moreover, his friend just had a failed attempt with someone else to drive out his frustration… On the other hand, it seemed like he did not hate Hubbard’s touches at all.
Maybe this was the most impossible challenge Hubbard ever encountered in his life. To stay put, while he became painfully aroused by Tang Lan’s actions. He literally could feel the same energy pouring into him through their banging hands; he felt the gradually growing smell of sweat and sex, he felt the flames of Tang Lan’s lust enveloping him in the dark room; with his head on his shoulders, Tang Lan’s moans, hisses and growls fell onto Hubbard’s neck, and the sounds mixed with this scenery really did not help him to stay calm. Hubbard’s whole body tensed, his toes curled up on the bed, he pressed his soles into the mattress, and tried not to thrust his hip.
Tang Lan had no such problems. He started to thrust his hip, as he increased the speed of his right hand. The air was steamy as his pleasure grew, and just like Hubbard, he pulled up his legs, spreading them widely, lifting his hip with every thrust, and soon a wet, smacking noise filled the room with his moans, creating an overwhelming symphony of Tang Lan’s enjoyment.
Tang Lan’s fingers stopped stroking Hubbard’s, as his orgasm approached. He just clenched his fingers around Hubbard’s hand, gripping it so hard as if he needed a handrail to cling on while he gradually reached his peak. Hubbard saw him slowly bending forward, his movements made the whole bed shake in the same rhythm, and his hand was so fast, it even seemed painful. When Hubbard felt Tang Lan’s nails digging into the back of his hand, he reached out with his other hand, and pulled up the edge of Tang Lan’s shirt right to his collarbone. He revealed his upper body to the dim green light, freeing it from clothes. His palm touched his bare chest, and Tang Lan cried out.
Right after his help, Tang Lan’s body writhed from his orgasm; his voice broke, and his stomach was already covered by faintly shining, white pleasure fluid. The fapping sounds slowly halted, and Tang Lan’s body shivered as an after-effect of his satisfaction. His muscles gradually relaxed, and his legs slid down onto the blanket. His breath calmed down, and the strong grip on Hubbard’s hand loosened. He still kept his damp fingers between Hubbard’s.
Hubbard hadn’t been in such a fortunate state. His body had not reached its peak, he was still throbbing very hard, thirsty for attention, which he refused to give, yet he couldn’t ignore either. He was hard as stone, and even a tiny movement of his hip made him unable to breathe. He still wished he could take off his pants, but he was torn between appropriate and inappropriate – Tang Lan was drunk, and it was understandable that he lost his boundaries with Hubbard, while Hubbard was completely sane. Their situation wasn’t the same.
Tang Lan fell asleep on his side soon after he finished, and peacefully panted now. Hubbard licked his dry lips, and tried to think. His brain didn’t want to work, it replayed the past few minutes for him again and again.
After a few minutes, his arousal somewhat cooled down, at least making him able to form some plans. He should leave first… definitely. Just as he planned… Tang Lan was asleep, so he should wash him down and put him under the blanket, after that… he could go to his own flat to take care of his situation. Or just get some iced water from the common room, and pour it on himself. Both were fine.
However, Tang Lan still kept his hand captive. When Hubbard tried to remove his fingers, Tang Lan moaned in his dream, and turned towards him, crossing Hubbard’s hip with his leg as if he wanted to keep him here.
He touched the wrong spot… or rather the right spot, in fact. His leg pressed right onto Hubbard’s crotch, and that was it for him. He had to admit the defeat; it was impossible to fulfil this task.
His whole body trembled, and he unconsciously clenched his fist around Tang Lan’s hand, when he came. He tried his best not to move too much, and wake up his friend, but when he reached his peak, he lost control. The only thing he was still able to hold back was his grunt; he pressed it back to his lungs, where it came from. All of his muscles tensed by the almost painful pulsation, which could’ve been better, if he wasn’t wearing his pants and underwear.
But at least he finally lost his heat. He only noticed later that his skin was covered with a thin layer of sweat, his scalp was damp and chilly, and the wetness in his lower part was quite uncomfortable. He wanted to wash it down and change, but Tang Lan’s leg still crossed him.
It took him a while to escape Tang Lan’s embrace without waking him up. Hubbard felt extremely tired at that point, not sleeping the previous night, and having these life-changing epiphanies left and right about he and Tang Lan… But he still wanted to save them from a very awkward situation that awaited them in the morning if they stayed like this.
He managed to get out, and as he planned, he washed Tang Lan carefully, before he would do anything else. He adjusted the clothes on him, and with meticulous work, he was able to pull out the blanket under him.
As he finished, he stood above him for a while before kneeling beside his bed. Tang Lan’s handsome, teal-coloured face was smooth and peaceful. The dim light washed over the marks of his crying, and his eyelashes seemed even darker. Hubbard remembered Tang Lan’s pain, and their conversation from an hour ago, and the feeling of wanting to protect him grew unbearable in his chest. He lifted his hand, and hovered above Tang Lan’s face before hesitantly touching his temples as gently as he could.
Tang Lan didn’t wake up, when Hubbard caressed his skin there. He stroked him carefully, from the corner of his eyebrows to his chin. He understood everything now. It was not just Hubbard who felt confused. Tang Lan’s behaviour in the past week made sense too. Somehow, it didn’t surprise him. It was Tang Lan who would be more sentimental and would be attached to things easier. He was always like that, even when he tried to act tough. For so many years, for a decade, he tried to act tough, and suppress his feelings.
After another few minutes, Hubbard went to his own room to clean himself and sleep.
~HxT~
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