Eighteenth leaf (2)
Yuu-chan 2025.05.29. 01:37
*
Jibran strode around his lab at home, with one hand on his waist, the other on his chin, sinking into his thoughts, sweating and panting from nervousness. It was already bad enough news when the base announced that they found the traitor’s vehicle, right after the day they’ve escaped – even more frightening that all the food that Seraing managed to store for them was in the truck, and the car was damaged beyond repair, planting the doubt in one’s heart what condition its passengers could be in…
This was enough for the doctor to lose his sleep, and he couldn’t concentrate on his work either. He was afraid, he would expose himself at work, so he had to endure his emotions, while he heard the news, but as soon as he returned home, he exploded, and his nights were absolute nightmares.
But now, Seraing’s message almost made him throw up, and if he stood in one place, he started shaking very badly. The Judge said, he got the dirt that the military found a trace of Lu Feng’s xenogenic form, and they were about to catch them at the edge of the Abyss.
He kept going to his computer, but he didn’t receive any update since then.
“I’m going crazy.” He said it out loud, and felt an increasing dizziness that made him stumble, and he had to sit down.
Just as he put his ass on the sofa, a soft knocking came from his door. He jerked right up, and flew over to tear up the door.
“Seraing, kill me, if you don’t have any good news!” He exclaimed mindlessly, and before the Judge could answer, he pulled him inside, now making the poor man stumble – they couldn’t talk about this on the corridor, after all.
Seraing regained his balance, but was taken aback when he saw his face. Soon, he lowered his head with a regretful expression, adjusting his hat in the meantime.
“I apologise. I shouldn’t tell you about it until we have the results.”
“Ah!” Jibran shrieked, and returned to his living room, just to start the circles again there. “I can’t, I can’t with this. It was all for nothing, they’re gonna die, and we’re gonna die too. Why is the base so obsessed with Lu Feng and An Zhe now? They didn’t do any of this shit before when someone deserted!”
“The General’s order,” Seraing stated calmly, unsure of what to do with Jibran in this state, but the doctor couldn’t care less to act differently, his nerves were tense to the point of breaking. “More accurately, he wants the xenogenic that took over Lu Feng, not the doctor. Probably they want to bring him back, dissect him, and find out how he snuck into the base unnoticed, why his results are negative.”
“They can’t find out shit about that.” Dr Ji waved his hand exasperatedly. “They had a full body to study that subject already, and they failed. What the fuck do they hope to find now?”
He trusted Seraing, but he realised, the Judge probably didn’t know, what he was talking about because the tender man stayed silent, letting him lash out his anger on him. The doctor stopped when he realised that he was too harsh, and took a few deeper breaths.
“What are the chances that they’ve really found them?” He asked in a trembling voice.
“I don’t know all the details.” Seraing sounded apologetic. “But… it seems like it’s a high possibility.”
Dr Ji closed his eyes.
“Can’t you just lie, occasionally?”
The Judge opened his mouth, but in the end, he lowered his head once again.
“I apologise.”
The doctor snored, and left him there, as he couldn’t contain his impatience. He went to his lab again to look at his emails.
“Still nothing.” He murmured between his gritted teeth, and plunged onto his rolling chair. Seraing eventually followed him when he was already beating up the keyboard.
“Did you find them yet?”
His email was terse. His eyes swept through the most recent messages he got that night.
The first ones were started a few days ago, actually, when Lu Feng and An Zhe escaped. Dr Ji couldn’t hold back telling Dr Pauli, so the people in the institute could expect his friends’ appearance around the Abyss – he asked him to make sure to look for them. But then, when he heard that they lost the car, he also asked them to search through the edges of the Abyss, since they didn’t have any transportation method anymore, and they were out of food…
Then, today, he told them the news immediately when he received Seraing’s message, and Dr Pauli answered in just a few minutes…
Yet, it was not looking good. Since that plea, Jibran had sent this “did you find them yet” question at least ten times. Dr Pauli was very patient, and he didn’t regret his time telling him, that he sent out every battle-compliant subordinate of his to find them, and they are brushing the Abyss thoroughly with great attention, but nothing had been found yet.
This time, however, Dr Pauli wasn’t at the computer, or he drew the line, and wasn’t willing to comfort his young colleague because he didn’t answer. This only made Jibran’s nervousness reach its highest point, and after a while, he jumped up, feeling like he wanted to go somewhere, yell, punch, cry, or… just do something!
He forgot about Seraing, and didn’t notice that the Judge stood right beside his chair, so when he jumped up, he clashed right into him, resulting that the both of them losing balance. He instinctively grabbed on the other person’s arm, but that didn’t help him stay on his foot.
They both fell, and Jibran’s back reached the ground first, jerking the Judge on top of him. The scream stuck in his lungs, and he forgot to breathe, but when he realised that he wasn’t injured, he looked up.
The Judge put his right arm around Jibran’s head and neck, protecting it from harm, giving him a rather comfortable pillow in this position, while he threw the other arm beside Jibran, preventing himself from falling on him with his entire body, and crushing him completely.
Jibran gasped for air, and a very cool, mint-like fragrance snuck into his nostrils with the heavy breathing, calming him down. It was a nice smell, and his body relaxed under the Judge.
“Careful, doctor. Don’t hurt yourself.” He heard the light scolding. Seraing was almost whispering, but his tone was deeper than usual. “Don’t panic. That xenogenic wears Lieutenant Lu Feng’s body. And you haven’t seen his escape from the Magnetic Pole. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.” The Judge’s face was just as calm as his words, and he didn’t blink while he was talking to Jibran.
The doctor always thought that this man was quite cute and good-looking. He had a pale complexion and subtle expressions. However, he had never been so close to this person, thus, he had never noticed before how he has some light freckles on his nose, or how freaking long his eyelashes was, or how his brown irises were actually splattered with lighter, yellowish dots. Well, he had never notice his nice smell either. And how big he was. He was tall, taller than Jibran, towering over him like this, covering his whole sight.
Jibran got flattered way too fast, almost shockingly quickly. He couldn’t reply, and his thoughts escaped from his brain one by one. If Seraing wouldn’t continue in the next second, the doctor was sure he would embarrass himself with… something.
“They can manage themselves.” Seraing’s low voice pierced his bubble, making him shiver. Jibran felt as if ice-cold water had been poured on him from head to toe. “And if I’m not mistaken, your friends are powerful too, right?”
Jibran forced himself to think, and as his brain began working normally again, he realised that the Judge must have seen his messages as he stood right behind him. Well, at last, the embarrassment indeed enveloped his heart.
He was too careless… even if he trusted Seraing, it was a pretty risky move to expose his relationship with the deserters in the Highland Research Institute. Every soldiers knew who they were, and the base prohibited any connection with them.
“Ah…” Jibran pressed out a sound; there was no point in denying it.
“Then let’s hope for the best.” Seraing smiled at him, and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. Only then Jibran noticed that his legs were in widespread, almost like… in an intimate situation. This didn’t help him in the slightest. He barely merged from his distracting thoughts a moment ago, now, this pulled him right back, like a strong underwater current.
Seraing didn’t notice or chose to ignore it, offering one of his hands to Jibran as well. The doctor took it, and soon, they both recovered from the fall, standing in front of each other.
The awkwardness remained in his heart, paired up with a brief of light-headedness. The closeness of the Judge lingered on Jibran’s skin and body for a while. His face started burning. In the past few days of high stress, his body wasn’t able to focus on relief and satisfaction; now his thirst fell on him all at once. Lu Feng’s words penetrated his mind unbidden. Jibran pushed his loosened glasses up on his nose, pressing it firmly between his eyebrows, and he turned away, trying to stay calm.
Hah, not as if he even wanted to date anyone! Sexual desires and relationships are two different things. Lu Feng, you dumbass.
“Kmhm…” He cleared his throat. “Sorry… I’m a bit nervous… Thank you. Thank you for everything you did. We should stick together… I mean, because we’re both supporting our friends, right?” He quickly added when he realised he was being weird. Seraing just looked at him with his usual face and light smile, and this somehow didn’t help either. Jibran’s face burned even more.
“I guess it’s for the better if we… stick together before you accidentally hurt yourself, indeed.” Seraing’s tone didn’t change much, but the doctor felt as if he was mocking him; as if this very attentive, good-looking and kind Judge knew exactly what was on his mind at the moment. “I’m nervous too. Let’s wait for the news together. Would be a problem for me to stay here for the night?”
Jibran froze. His mind was blank, except for one thing. He had to swallow.
Is this… would that be…
No, that cannot be. Jibran couldn’t look away from the light brown eyes, and couldn’t NOT notice it anymore, how unbelievably long Seraing’s eyelashes were. And when Seraing’s smile widened, his heart started beating faster.
“Ih… I guess I would be too agitated to sh… sleep.” He stuttered, he couldn’t even keep his breathing at a normal pace. In fact, his nervousness suddenly changed course, and found a new direction to aim for, uncertain if he was being hit on, or this man was just teasing him or what now. “Yeah, sure… you can stay…”
But after saying that, he couldn’t talk anymore; he felt it once more that he would just embarrass himself if he continued speaking. To do something with himself, he looked at the screen again.
There was a new message from Dr Pauli.
“We found them.”
Jibran’s breathing stopped, and he forgot his problem for a moment, bending forward. Before he could send a reply, another message jumped after the last one.
“They seem fine. We brought them back to the institute. You can rest now, doctor. I’ll test them soon, and let you know tomorrow if they’re healthy or not.”
“That’s great.” Jibran heard Seraing’s voice behind him, and when he turned his head, saw the tall man leaning towards the screen on his side, but maybe a bit over Jibran… The doctor immediately straightened up, and stepped back. The Judge did the same, looking at him with a small smile. “I’m glad they’re okay. Hm, I guess it means that I have to go home.”
Was there… was that disappointment in his voice? It was so subtle and fast, and Jibran’s head and heart were so messed up, agitated, tired yet happy and excited, that he just simply couldn’t tell. He didn’t know what to say either.
“Uh… um.” He replied very sophisticatedly.
“Then, I’ll be going. Let’s keep in touch, doctor. I’ll let you know if there is anything from the military, and I would appreciate it if you would update me on their situation.” The Judge slightly bowed his head while grabbing onto the brim of his hat instead of saluting, and then turned on his heals, and walked out of Jibran’s lab.
The doctor followed him, his heart beating so fast that he had to gasp for air, but the door closed, and the Judge left his apartment. Jibran stared at the door for a little while, dazing out, biting his lips.
Was that an invitation or not???
Should he say something?
Ah, but it was too late anyway…
Seraing left. He headed towards the elevator, and if it wasn’t open, then he was probably still standing in front of it. Jibran swallowed, as he remembered the closeness of the man just now when he was holding him so gently on the floor, towering above him… The doctor hid his face in his palm.
“Nah, you just need a good porn and fifteen minutes, like always…” He told himself out loud. “There is no point of… doing this now…” Now, that Lu Feng and An Zhe was out of question for good, the base was going to focus on possible accomplices. His own “Judgement Day” just started approaching. Or better say, doomsday… If they find out his connection with Lu Feng and An Zhe, and the institute… He will be beheaded, for sure.
Jibran put his forehead on the door, grabbing the door knob. That’s right… what was the use of going out of his comfort zone, and pursue someone who caught his attention. He always avoided this in the past, it was better to change his thoughts towards inmate stuff than people…
‘You have to find a partner yourself… Go and date… humans have to seek their chances themselves.’
The loud words were put on repeat in his mind.
Being so irritated he was, Dr Ji couldn’t handle the tension anymore.
“Fuck you, Lu Feng… ‘have to seek my chances’ my ass… fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.” He cried out while jumping into his slippers, and tearing the door up.
He flew through the corridor, which still had the lights on, his steps echoing loudly between the walls, maybe causing discomfort to the other residents, but he couldn’t slow down.
He saw when the Judge’s figure stepped into the elevator. Seraing turned back and pushed the button, and Jibran had to exert all of his remaining physical abilities to reach him.
He almost fell into the elevator, his knees suddenly folded under him, but he stretched both of his arms aside, clenching on the frame of the elevator, stopping the door from closing, and holding himself there somehow, shaking wildly and breathing heavily. This was only a few meters long corridor, but it felt as if he ran a marathon.
“Ih…” He pressed out, hanging his head down, unable to lift it up and look at the Judge in front of him, seeing only his boots. “I… I…” He still panted, and slowly straightened up, but his own stuttering made him so mad, he wanted to curse himself. “I don’t think… I mean it’s okay, if… Would you be… I don’t know if that’s what you…” He bit his tongue, and he literally heard how his nerves let out a snapping sound. “Ah, for the fuck sake, I’m so bad at this dating shit!” He exclaimed, and finally looked up, right into the surprised Judge’s handsome face. “I don’t want to die without having sex with you!”
The silence that followed his words successfully calmed him down, or maybe it was simply the fact that he told what he wanted to tell. Jibran completely straightened up, still holding the elevator’s door, and he left his embarrassment behind. It doesn’t matter anymore. He said it, there was no turning back. Either being rejected or accepted, it was on Seraing now.
He still shrugged when the Judge slowly moved his arm, and adjusted his hat. His hand covered half of his face, and the other half… Jibran saw a twitching mouth-corner, that wanted to turn into a grin so badly, yet, his owner tried to keep his calm.
“I agree,” Seraing said, and lowered his arm, not hiding his face anymore, nor his smile.
Jibran was wrong.
He didn’t leave all his embarrassment behind, it started burning his ears and nape.
“Ah.”
What the fuck am I doing?
Seraing stepped closer. Jibran held his breath, and started getting the cold feet, yet, his knees were still weak as fuck – actually, everything about him was weak as fuck, starting with his flirting skills.
Seraing stood right in front of him, very close, but not closing the last gap between their chests.
After a while, he spoke again.
“Are we starting here, or should we go back to your apartment?”
Jibran miraculously found his strength, and after stumbling a few steps backwards, he turned around, and speedwalked back to his flat, with the Judge in tow.
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