Seraing knew that Jibran didn’t like to get up early nowadays. He had no idea if the doctor was like this before his injuries, or just the depression made him want to stay in bed for so long… Nevertheless, he just found it cute, how he was trying to hide his face in his pillow, whimpering half-asleep. Seraing had to kiss his neck to wake him up completely, and even the blush on his face was worth the try.

   But sadly… that blush didn’t stay long. Jibran got very pale when he realised, what is the time and the day… and became awfully quiet.

   Seraing didn’t press him to act otherwise. He just helped him use the toilet, let him wash his teeth and then helped him take on normal clothes this time – not the loose dresses that he was wearing, for those were easily removable from his wounded parts, but actual pants and shirt. He got him a brand new (almost) lab coat as well. Fixed his glasses, combed his ruffled, blond hair and put him into the wheelchair. He wanted to give him a candy too, since he missed the opportunity last night. Jibran hesitated as he looked at it, but then he decided to take it, and he hid it in his pocket.

   He didn’t speak at all. The whole process was finished in silence. Seraing really wanted to ask some things, but Jibran told him at night that he didn’t want to talk about it, so… the younger man left it like that. Maybe this parting was just as hard if not harder for the doctor as for him. Seraing was quite frustrated as well – he hadn’t had time to deal with his own emotions in the last few weeks but he couldn’t show any of it in front of Jibran. The blond man wasn’t in the best mental space for listening to his issues.

 “Don’t.”

Seraing stopped. This was the first word of Jibran today.

   The Judge was holding the tablet in his hand, and was about to put it into the suitcase, that he already prepared a few days ago. The tablet was the last piece from Jibran’s belongings.

“I don’t need it.” Jibran harshly took it from his hands, and deleted all the data off of it before he tossed the tablet onto the quilt. “I’m ready.”

   Seraing didn’t comment on this act, he just accepted it after a few seconds of thinking. He knew that Jibran will have access to his emails at that place… But from the movements of the blond doctor, he felt like this decision symbolised something. He just wasn’t sure about what.

But there was nothing else to do anymore.

   After he gave the small suitcase to Jibran to hold onto it in his lap, they were good to go. Seraing started to push the wheelchair.

   On their way down to the yard, where a transfer was waiting for them already, many scientists stopped them for a second to say goodbye to Jibran. Seraing didn’t send them away. After all, they were all colleagues, and they had the right to express their admiration for each other one last time. Jibran took all of it very vaguely: hummed and nodded, thanked the others’ kind words, but his demeanour was quite reserved.

   They reached the entrance, and the photocell doors were opened. The mist had already elevated from the ground but it was still cold out here; the rising sun’s golden rays from behind the building haven’t reached this part yet. The transfer already had its engine working, quietly roared in the deserted yard. Around the vehicle, there were a handful of injured people standing; like Jibran, they got invited and applied to go to the Highland Research Institute. Some of them were in a wheelchair; some of them could walk on their own. They formed a crooked line in front of a soldier and another Judge; they were entrusted with checking the departures’ information.

Seraing was strolling towards them, when he heard the weak voice.

 “Seraing, I don’t want to…”

 “You should go.” He answered before Jibran would’ve finished his sentence, and he saw the blond head falling forward, and the left hand gripping the suitcase so hard that his knuckles went completely white. Seraing knew this would happen; he suspected it at night that Jibran was terrified of going away. But there was no time to talk anymore. Maybe he should’ve pushed the topic yesterday.

   He placed one of his hands on the man’s shoulder, while he slowed down his steps to give them a couple of seconds alone before they joined the people around the bus.

 “Isn’t your lifetime wish to see Mr Jones? Didn’t you say the Colonel is there as well? Don’t be afraid. You’ll love that place. You’ll not even be completely alone with strangers.”

   They stopped a few meters away from the small crowd. The soldier and the Judge saw Seraing, and they waved their hand towards him, but he asked for a minute with just a hand sign.

   He walked in front of Jibran, and knelt on his right leg. The blond doctor cast a look at him, locking their eyes for a second, then he turned away his head slightly. The rims of his eyes were red, but he pressed his lips into a tight line. He looked rather angry than sad. Angry at Seraing for not giving in to his plea, probably. Or just angry in general for the situation he was in.

Seraing smiled, and rested his hand on the clenched fist.

 “Everything will be fine.” He said quietly.

 “What about my safe place?” Jibran’s words were sharp and biting; so he was definitely angry at Seraing.

 “You can have a safe place there.” The Judge assured him calmly. “You can have even multiple ones. What matters is that you feel secure in that place, where no one can disturb you, if you don’t want it. You can create that space anywhere, as long as you feel like this.”

 “Do you have another safe place then?”

   Seraing stared at the doctor’s pale face, his wrinkled eyebrows, his teary eyes, his shaking lips. He seemed like he would be offended if Seraing said yes. He clearly counted himself as Seraing’s safe place, and he was right. Jibran was and continued to be his safest place, he never felt freer and more “himself” anywhere as he felt around him. But… should he use a white lie here that he doesn’t have another? That would probably make Jibran feel worse because of his leaving, and he would try to convince him not to let him go. Or he would think about Seraing’s well-being too much at the Institute that he wouldn’t be able to heal. Seraing definitely didn’t want that.

 “I have. I haven’t used it a while ago though.”

   Under those glasses, Jibran’s azure blue eyes shut down from inside: the sparkling of those pretty irises went out. He seemed cold and emotionless now. He was probably hurting.

 “I see.”

   Seraing understood from his posture that Jibran didn’t want to talk anymore. So he drew his hand back and stood up. He felt like his chest was two times heavier than it was before he knelt down, but he acted calmly as usual. He closed the distance between them and the transfer, and it was time for Jibran to get on the bus as well, since he was the last one they’d waited for.

 “Good, we are off to go in a minute.” The soldier took Jibran’s data; when two other people had come to help the man out of his wheelchair, and take his belongings with him on the transfer, the soldier put away his tablet. Saluted for Seraing and the other Judge – he was the driver, so he had to get on as well, when everyone took a seat on the bus.

   Seraing’s eyes followed the people, and he found Jibran’s blond head through the windows, but he was sitting on the other side, he couldn’t see his face from here. The other Judge beside him also was looking into the transfer, peeping on his tippy-toes. He even lost his balance, falling to Seraing’s shoulder.

 “Oh, sorry, Captain…” All of his people continued to call him Captain. It was still better than Colonel. “He sits elsewhere, huh? Are you going to run after the transfer waving?”

 “What?” Seraing felt stunned, almost forgetting his own growing pain in his chest. The Judge at his side was younger than him – nearly all the remaining Judges were younger than him – and looked at him with big, innocent eyes.

 “I’ve read something like this in a novel.” He explained honestly. “When lovers were parting ways, one stood at the train station, the other was on the train. And then, the one on the train station ran with the train when it started moving, so they could see their loved ones a couple of more seconds until the train sped up.”

   Seraing felt his face getting warmer a little bit in embarrassment, but he quietly laughed, as he looked at the bus again. They were about to go.

 “Yeah… maybe I should do that.”

 “I think it’s very romantic.” The Judge said excitedly. “I want someone to love me so much that they run after me.”

 “Are those people parting ways forever?” He somewhat curiously asked, watching as the wheels slowly began rolling and the engines rumbled up.

 “Mmm… I don’t know.” The Judge said, thinking deeply. “I think so.”

 “Hm. Then I will not run.” Seraing said lightly with a smile, as the transfer made a slight turn to face the gates of the Magnetic Field Center. “Because I will see him in the future.”

 “Oh.” The Judge seemed even more excited. “Are you going after him later?”

 “What are you talking about?” Seraing sighed deeply. When the transfer turned to the right, and disappeared outside the gates, he looked at him. “You know, I have many things to do here. Or should I leave my responsibilities to you, so I can go after him?”

After his curious question, the young man suddenly turned red and looked away.

 “N… not really me, well… if-if that is what you would need, I guess. But I’m not qualified to be in your position… I just graduated not long ago… I don’t have many experiences and… I think I would mess up something… Maybe if you ask another Judge, you still can catch their plane or something…”

Seraing laughed, and patted the boy’s shoulder.

 “Don’t freak out. I won’t choose you, even if I would go after Dr Ji. But thank you for your consideration. You’re really kind.”

 “Y-you are my idol.” The young Judge straightened his back, and his eyes lit up after Seraing’s words. “I want to be even more kind to others. I really admire your actions, I think, more people should be as considerate as you are.”

   Seraing once again felt a bit embarrassed, but he smiled. His heavy chest suddenly seemed to be less heavy.

 “Then off to work you go.” He said with a bit more firm tone, however. “The day has already started, and we don’t have time to be lazy. What are your tasks for today?”

~���~

   On the same day, at night, when Seraing finished his work, he went back to the Magnetic Field Center, to the fourth floor, to the end of the corridor… where he was sleeping on chairs for the last couple of weeks. But his blankets and backpack were not there – as he looked into the empty room beside his “bed”, he saw all his things on the actual bed.

   Walking in, he noticed a note on the top of his belongings, and recognised his subordinate, Haoyu’s handwriting.

“Captain, you don’t have an assigned room yet! So I thought, you would be happy to get this one. From now on, until you decide otherwise, you can use this room as your own. Please, don’t sleep on chairs anymore!”

   Seraing smiled, but his smile dissolved pretty soon. He looked around, and the previously warm and welcoming room was now just as grey as any other place in this lifeless city.

   He closed the door, and started to unpack his stuff. He did have a locker, with his other equipment and items – mostly bullets for his pistol, books, notes, and some ointment that he thought should be kept close to him. But it was pointless to have these things on him all the time. This locker was down there, close to the entrance of the building, where people originally put their outside clothes when they came to work.

   He could’ve gone home. Not long ago they discovered that many of the military residential buildings had survived the Great War, for they were pretty far away from the core of the city, where the worst destruction happened. They haven’t checked all the rooms yet but he probably still had his clothes and old items there. But just like in the past, he liked to stay closer to the place where… well… now, it was not that close to his workplace. He was doing many kinds of jobs. The Trial Court didn’t have an office anymore. Obviously, the reason why he didn’t go back was Jibran.

   So now he only had a couple of blankets, he used them to make his bed a bit more welcoming now; a couple of underwear for changes, which he put into the narrow wardrobe with his uniform coat and hat, hanging those up with a hanger; his pistol and a round of bullets, that he wasn’t using since the war ended, he put that on the nightstand; his communicator and ID card, which was also not used that much lately as they were used to; and the tablet that he got from the military when he started working after the war.

   He grabbed that and lay down on the bed. As his head hit the pillow, he stared at the ceiling, looking how it became darker and darker, until it was lit up with green moving lights.

   Seraing turned his head towards the pillow. He still somewhat could smell the familiar scent of Jibran’s shower gel that he used at night. As he remembered that “incident”, he felt various emotions: a little bit of heat, a little bit of happiness and a lot of loneliness. He stroked the bed beside him.

   Jibran must have arrived at the Institute by now, probably met with Mr Jones and the Colonel, and probably got his room as well. But Seraing still wasn’t sure why he didn’t bring his tablet with him. Now, even if he writes to him… Seraing swallowed, his throat was quite tight. He lifted the tablet above his head, and pushed its power button. The screen’s light was so bright, he had to squint first. Jibran deleted everything that was his on the tablet, thus, Seraing could log into his own emails. 

   He pushed himself into a sitting position, tilting his head to the pillow, drawing his legs up, and selecting the New Email button. Their lines were not very fast with emails in long distance. Their communication was very limited, and there was no other way to stay in contact with Jibran. At least, he really couldn’t use the emergency channel to talk with him, obviously. Maybe in the future…

   It was quite late, but he felt like Jibran would be the type, who doesn’t fall asleep too fast in a strange place. He smiled thinking of that. Soon enough, he realised, his letter became way longer than he intended to.

   “Jibran,

   Have you arrived at the Institute safely? How was your trip, have you had a good journey? Are you tired? I hope you will have a good sleep tonight after the excitement. How do you like your new place? Did you get a room with a nice view? At least it could be only nicer than here, in the Main City with all these ruins. I always liked the scenery in the Abyss. Without the monsters, our planet is just beautiful, don’t you think? I’m jealous that you get to see that place every day from now on. Maybe once we can go out from this place to the wilderness again, so I can see it as well. And see you again.

   Have you met up with Mr Jones? Is he like you imagined him to be? How many people are at the Institute?

   How is the Colonel doing? Did he grieve An Zhe yet? What exactly is he doing there? Did he get a job? I can see you teasing him about that. I would never dare to do it, but I know he likes it. He must have been missing you a lot, so make sure you spend time with him.

   I worked so hard today that I don’t even feel like going to shower. I wish you would be here, so then I would need to.

   I miss you already.

   I hope you will rebuild your happiness there.

Seraing”

   He read it through a couple of times before he sent it. He suspected that he wasn’t going to get an answer anytime soon – even if Jibran was still awake, tablets were probably not too common things at that place, although, who knows. It might take a couple of days before Jibran could answer. He didn’t like to use public computers, Seraing knew that much.

   Yet… he still kept looking, before he put his tablet down. Then after some ceiling-staring, he looked at it again. Then he decided to go to shower since he didn’t want to sleep in the bed being dirty. He didn’t spend much time there, and kind of rushed out to see if there was an answer.

But there was no answer that night.

~���~

   “Jibran,

   It’s been a week since you left. The base got good news: there will be some more people coming from the Underground City Base to help us restore the Main City. Once they arrive, I can quit from the construction site-jobs. I don’t mean this as a complaint, but I didn’t do anything else just brought boxes and huge bags to the builders, or tried to clean up the roads from the debris. I love to pick YOU up, but I don’t like picking up anything else. Am I childish? I would like to work with people more.

   The nights are boring and cold. Maybe I should stay at the construction sites. I can just come home and fall asleep immediately… what will I do if I have too much time on my hand? Why couldn’t this happen before you left… I could’ve stayed with you from afternoon to morning.

   How was your week? Did you get used to the place yet? Do you like the people there? I imagine that you still need a couple of days or even weeks to find your comfort zone, but you can do it. You just have to make some friends, and you will be fine. I know it’s not hard for you. Who would not like your personality?

   I assume you don’t have any device to check your emails, and you probably feel embarrassed reading my letters in front of others, so I’m going to wait for your response patiently until you have a personal computer or a tablet again… but I miss you, I hope you can answer to me soon.

   I will be going to sleep now. Have a good night, sunshine.

Seraing”

   “Jibran,

   We had a monster attack a few days ago. But now, it seems that all of the Main City is cleared out completely. We tried to block the old walls and restart the ventilation system. We had some hardships with that. It needs a little repair, but we are out of mechanics… But at least the magnetic pole is working well, so we don’t have to be afraid of another lockdown. We definitely wouldn’t survive that. Oh, and don’t worry, I didn’t get hurt. The attack wasn’t that serious. It was just a few low-classed insect monsters.

   The Admiral said that we are going to build a new wall, in a smaller circle. I’m not sure if we can do that before the real winter arrives. I mean, it is already pretty late. I think for now we have to survive in this situation. But maybe next year we will do a new wall around the city’s core. We don’t have many people living here anyway, so it will be more than enough space.

   Once everything is done, you and the Colonel could visit us someday, in the future. If you feel well enough to travel again, of course.

   Are you feeling alright, considering the situation? I assume you’re still very busy healing. Don’t quit on that! I will wait for your response no matter what.

   I almost fell asleep writing, so I think I’m going now. I write to you next week, unless you answer because then I will be doing that right away.

Seraing”

   “Jibran,

   It’s been a while; sorry I couldn’t write last week. We had some hardships. Our electricity went down for days. One of the buildings that we thought survived the bombarding just fell. It broke down the wires. So it was rough. We didn’t have any way to keep ourselves warm. I’m glad you weren’t here. You would’ve been freezing to death. I hope you’re warm at your new place. It’s been a month now since you left. Is it snowing yet at the Institute?

   Here it isn’t, thankfully. And we got back everything we lost, so we won’t freeze anymore. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I mean, it would still be better, if you would warm me up at night. I miss you.

   I don’t have much to say, I’m really tired, but I wanted to write to you for so long, I had to. Please, focus on your healing, sunshine.

Seraing”

   “Jibran,

   The Admiral wasn’t joking. The people of the Underground City Base arrived, but instead of less work, we really started to build up the new walls. I’m crazily tired. So that is why my email was so late again, I can’t believe this month just ran over us like that. I don’t even know sometimes if it’s day or night.

   Some people had planned a rebellion against the Admiral’s decision. I’m not going to lie, I would support them. The Admiral lost his mind. It’s freezing out there! AND it started snowing!

   But… I cannot be entirely angry at him. He is working with us just as much. Well, even more than I am, he is much stronger than me. I never thought he actually can do physical work.

   I still want to rebel though.

   At least I know it’s for good reasons… we’re still afraid of another monster attack. People are scared to sleep at night. We are having shifts in guarding as well. It’s really tiring.

I really wish I could hear from you… it would make my days a bit less hard. No pressure though, but I really do miss you.

   I hope you’re doing better. Please, don’t hesitate to write, when you feel brave enough. I can imagine, that you are panicking over it… please, don’t panic, doctor. You can do it! I will wait.

Seraing”

   “Jibran,

   Sorry for the long wait. Though, I’m not even sure, you really want to hear from me. And it’s not much that I can tell either, this month was the same as the previous. The situation didn’t change much. We’re still working on the walls. There were some warmer days in the last week. I was thinking about you a lot. If I could choose between this sunshine and you, sunshine, I would still choose you to warm me up. But it was still nice though.

   I hope you’re doing well.

   I miss you.

Seraing”

   “Jibran,

   I think for a while this will be my last email. I will wait until you answer.

   I contacted the Colonel since last month. He was as concise as ever.

   He told me that you’re doing quite well, and working with Mr Jones. I’m so happy for you. I really am. Your life seems to be very exciting now. I’m proud of you, sunshine! I knew you can do it.

   I will do my best too. We’re doing quite well with the walls, but we also started working on residential buildings now. Some of those only need a patch-up. We’re also working on a restaurant. I think the scientists in the Magnetic Field Center are starting to get annoyed with us being there all the time, eating and making noises in their areas. I’m not surprised. We still have five hundred people to fit into that building now. Imagine the crowd… even when most of us are working all day, we’re all eating at the same time. Total chaos. I hope your place is big enough, and you don’t have to fight for food. 

   I will be going now. Jibran… I’m not forcing you to answer if you don’t want to. If it’s hard for you to do this, don’t worry about it. But if you’re just afraid of what I would say after so many months of silence from you… just know, I’m not mad at you. I know you need time. So please, don’t worry too much, no matter, what you do.

   I still miss you greatly.

   Have a good night and year, sunshine.

Seraing”

~���~

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