This was his first time using this technique, which he had seen a few times from his arguing comrades. It almost made him excited to try it out on Tang Lan.

     When they separated, Tang Lan’s eyes were half closed, his pupils dilated, his lips shining. His face emitted heat, and he got the pale blush again. They both panted lightly between their lips before Hubbard pulled back.

   “So, why did you get scared from my visions?”

     Hubbard observed Tang Lan’s face intently; he saw the moment, when the unfocused eyes started to clear up, when the thoughts came back, when he realised that the kiss was really over. It took him several seconds, so Hubbard considered this a victory. His friend cleared his throat after that, and blinked repeatedly, licking his own lips as if he was still trying to feel the flavour of their kiss.

   “If… if the world is not dying… if people don’t need to be protected…” He stuttered, and paused between the words multiple times, but his breath hadn’t evened yet. “Well, I’m… I don’t know. When I left, I thought, it will be the last time I saw the Institute. I was willing to die with you… even before you asked… I wanted to stay by your side. I was ready, so now… I’m confused if I really need to go back, or if I can stay with you, or what we even do from now on. I think I was just… I was thinking about how we liked to stay in the wilderness. And since I’ve been a xenogenic, I liked it even more. So I thought we don’t need to go back. But it’s weird… I haven’t said it out loud, so how did your mind get the idea… I mean… you said those are negative visions, right? They never turned out to be true? Why is that when I was thinking about not going back to the Institute, you see a vision of where we are there? Isn’t that just following the same pattern? If I asked you not to go back, your vision would turn out negative again. But without any indication? We haven’t talked about it, so how would you know… what gives you these visions exactly? Why are they related to me?”

     Hubbard finally grasped on Tang Lan’s line of thoughts, and nodded, admitting it was weird.

   “Maybe it’s just the strong connection between us.” He said, and then he paused, before adding. “There was always something between us. I’ve just remembered something earlier, but I’m no scientist. Do you know about frequencies?”

   “Well, yes, of course.” Tang Lan muttered, seemed a bit unfocused, probably still trying to find an answer. “Those are the wavelengths, which are running through the universe. Since I’m a xenogenic, I’m quite sensitive about them. Now it’s peaceful. The new frequency is really calming… But I’m surprised that you even know the word.”

     Hubbard didn’t get upset over the mocking.

   “Well, this is how the magnetic field works too, right?”

   “Essentially.” Tang Lan sighed. “If you want to know about it more, I can introduce you to Mr Pauli. He could explain it in a way that you would understand. I’m not sure if I can teach you about it. But what are you trying to say?”

   “I was just thinking about how well we fit together since we were kids,” Hubbard said, thinking back to his memories. “But before I knew you… Mn, I guess this would be another wild statement.”

   “I’m prepared, don’t spare me.” Tang Lan showed a light grin, but his expression was rather apathetic.

   “When we first started talking I felt something… magnetic. Or wave-like. I just couldn’t ignore you. But it was more like a switch.”

   “A switch.” Tang Lan echoed, observing his face. “Did you have visions before I came into the picture?”

   “No.”

     Tang Lan opened his mouth, but his eyes once again lost their focus, and he fell into his thoughts. A light confusion and shock appeared on his features.

   “Everything is a frequency.” He said in a low voice, possibly only saying to himself. “You think feelings can be frequencies?” And then, as if an epiphany just hit him, he looked up with a sharp movement, almost terrified. “Wait… I… I’m not sure, it was a long time ago, but I remember… I remember now… I wanted to talk to you. I believe I watched you… in the library, we sat together, and I looked at you a lot. Somehow, I… I just wanted a friend like you. I was curious about you, and wanted to be your friend. Like… I really wanted to be your friend. I was so lonely.”

     Hubbard slightly frowned, thinking about these words deeply. For a moment, he once again heard the Lieutenant’s voice, as he described loneliness as something ‘worse than death’.

   “I’ve never talked to anyone before,” Hubbard added after a few moments of silence. “I also didn’t have friends. I wasn’t lonely, but I didn’t try to make connections. I had a sensitive hearing since I was little. I hated loud noises. I didn’t like speaking to anyone, because it was loud too. If not for that magnetic feeling, I wouldn’t have noticed you, probably… You weren’t so flashy.”

   “Mn… thanks.” Tang Lan shuddered, and showed a small smile, but he was paler than ever. “You never told me this hearing-thing either.”

   “It stopped after we became friends.” Hubbard licked his lips. “It’s only there if you aren’t with me. Well, there was one more person like you. My mentor, Lieutenant Gao. But it wasn’t the same. Since I lost you in the Abyss last time, I had a rough time coping with it. Now… I hear nothing again. It stopped again.”

     Tang Lan looked at him deeply, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything.

   “So I’m still affecting you physically. Can you still feel those waves?” For his headshake, Tang Lan bit his lower lip, and he seemed annoyed and slightly hesitant. “But doesn’t this mean that I’m… infecting you? And infected you in the past too? With the wavelengths of my frequencies… the frequencies about my wish to befriend you? Did I just control you to talk to me? And if that is true, then maybe your… your visions…”

     Hubbard didn’t really understand why this was so frightening to Tang Lan.

   “Maybe I was just a very good receiver for your frequencies.” He admitted with a nod. “I’m glad I was. It feels relieving not having irritable senses. Is that so unimaginable? Or unexpectable?”

   “Of course it is! This means you weren’t my friend for me, I just mesmerised you.” Hubbard didn’t like the trajectory of this conversation at all. Tang Lan continued before he could reply. “I was thinking about my death that night… When we separated. Not like that… I mean, I just said something along the lines that you would be worrying if I get infected… and for a moment, I was thinking, if I would be infected, I would be definitely shot at the gates. But I wasn’t really… I just thought about it as a possibility, not like I was looking forward to it. It was something that we knew, would happen if any of us were infected. Right? So then… the visions you were seeing… could be just my imaginations?!”

     Hubbard looked into the desperate gaze unblinkingly before he noticed Tang Lan’s fingers dancing on each other as he clenched his fists. Hubbard reached out to stop them with a gentle touch, and nodded.

   “Good, now we know the answer.”

   “You don’t seem to care.”

   “Should I?” Hubbard accepted it as such; he never went too deep in thinking of what the cause of his visions was – it seemed like something he couldn’t control anyway, so he wasn’t worrying about it. He took them as a part of his life. “You could be right about the visions. But it doesn’t matter, I didn’t like them, so I prevented them. I disagree with you about our friendship anyway. Maybe you made the first step, but all the other ones later were genuine. Don’t overthink it. It doesn’t matter what caused it, we developed it together.”

     Tang Lan was visibly frustrated by his answer. In the next second, Hubbard found himself lying on his back. It happened so fast that even his body was late to make his shoulder ache as he was pressed onto the divan bed. But then his attention found Tang Lan, who was sitting on his lap, supporting himself on his two arms beside Hubbard’s head, while descending above him so closely that he could see the individual strokes of grey and black colour in his irises, and the dilating pupils that had reflected a mix of golden and red light in them. The gold must have come from the fire, but the redness seemed to nest deep inside his eyes.

   “Now that I know how it works, are you not afraid that I will purposely manipulate you to do what I want, instead of what you want?” Tang Lan asked in a deep voice, but still using a light and mocking tone. However, in the next moment, his eyes turned completely black, and the red glow got stronger in the blackness. The shadow that was enveloping Hubbard came from the large wings. The left, the healthy one, hung down on Tang Lan’s side, and covered them from the heat of the fire; it also blocked all the light it emitted.

     Tang Lan really had an overwhelming presence. Hubbard never considered himself weak, and this was the first time in his life, that he experienced this strange emotion; it was like his muscles were filled with water, his body didn’t react when he tried to move his limbs, and his heart rate increased. He definitely couldn’t help but feel the urge to raise his hip, as Tang Lan’s body was so close to it.

   “I’m only afraid of losing you. So as long as you don’t go away, you can do whatever you want with me.” Hubbard said hoarsely. Tang Lan’s eyes fluttered, and he was close enough for Hubbard to hear his breath getting stuck in his lungs. “Someone once told me, you can control people if you make an impact on their addiction.”

   “… Motherfucker.” Tang Lan snapped at him, but his eyes were burning with those red flames. “So I’m your addiction?”

   “Perhaps.” Hubbard’s eyes jumped on the wings around them. “If you say, you want to eat me alive, I wouldn’t refute.”

     Tang Lan’s face twitched, and just after that, a vision flashed through in front of Hubbard’s eyes. Hubbard saw himself in a very… intimate and submissive position with Tang Lan before he came to his senses again. The hot waves that vision had generated were still there, running downwards through his spine, gathering in his crotch.

   “And if I want to eat you in other ways?”

   “What can I do, I’m just a human.”

     Tang Lan stared at him without blinking, and Hubbard stood against his gaze, letting the man observe everything he wanted. Then, unexpectedly, Tang Lan plunged upon him, their chests pressed to each other, and Hubbard felt the hot face getting buried into his neck. Tang Lan’s heavy, fast breathing in that sensitive area gave him goosebumps.

   “I want to do many things with you…” Tang Lan’s voice seemed annoyed for some reason. “But my wing and my back are killing me. I don’t think I can hold myself up. And you’re injured too.”

   “I was always capable of doing more one-handed push-ups than you. I can hold myself up with one arm. Let’s switch positions.”

     Tang Lan hesitated to answer for a little while.

   “Can’t you wait for a few days? Your fever will come back.”

    “Didn’t we wait for too long already?” Hubbard asked, and his hand found its way towards Tang Lan’s spine, touching the skin lightly on his waist, which made the man shiver all the way up.

   “Oh, so you want to make up for the missed opportunities tonight? How many years’ worth of opportunities?”

   “All of them.”

     Tang Lan laughed breathily before he lost that air again when Hubbard’s fingers reached the root of his wings. It was around his shoulder blades. Hubbard’s hand stroked up on the rougher skin, touching the hard bones under the thin flesh; then, his fingertips wandered to the membranous part of the wing, and Tang Lan suddenly whimpered.

   “Is it sensitive?” Hubbard asked, but didn’t withdraw his hand, just kept pampering it lightly.

   “I didn’t know it was until now.” Tang Lan admitted, his voice shaking with his shivering body.

     To overpower Tang Lan in this form was not possible by any means. However, Hubbard felt like his friend… no, it was not even the right title. His lover lowered his guard. Hubbard placed his hand back on his waist, and hugged him while he gained momentum to push himself up. It was much harder with another man on his body, especially wounded, but he sat up with him successfully.

     Tang Lan’s body pressed on him so closely that he felt the same heat as he was feeling, but when they looked at each other, he only gave a tiny kiss on his lips.

   “Let me treat your wound already.”

     Obviously, the bandage was very clumsy. Tang Lan knelt in front of Hubbard, sitting on his heels, showing his back to him. Hubbard observed his lover’s sensitive yet powerful new limbs, and comparing the two sides together, he touched a few joints and scarred places along the skin. Tang Lan was still shivering, and only hissed a few times when Hubbard cleaned his blood with the leftover water and the cloth he used as a bandage. After that, he glanced at the bandage on his shoulder, and carefully placed his hand on it.

   “It should be replaced. Did you put it on raw?

   “I’ve sewn it somewhat…

     He still had to be careful removing the piece of cloth that was soaked, and turned black from the blood. It stuck to his skin on multiple places.

     The wound had a zigzagged edge, and perhaps it would leave an ugly scar behind, however, it wasn’t bleeding or oozing, and Tang Lan did his best to sew that few centimetre long injury together as tightly as he could. It didn’t seem to be terribly deep, but it was still inflamed. Hubbard only could wash the piece of cloth out, and as it was a bit clearer, put it back onto the man’s shoulder. It wasn’t enough to secure it. It was probably Tang Lan’s undershirt, which had been torn apart into multiple portions, to be enough for every wound of his.

     It was much harder to take care of his broken wing with a four-meter wingspan, it was huge, and he only had one hand with limited materials. However, the wound was close to the root, where the wing naturally narrowed. With a bit of struggle, he still could secure the bandage on it in a way that could prevent Tang Lan from hurting himself further with his movements. When Hubbard finished his art piece, he still didn’t tell Tang Lan, and spent a good amount of time touching and stroking the black skin. Where the wings bulged out of the skin, he had a few rows of scales; shining with a blueish glow, raising and collapsing with the movement of Tang Lan’s breath, and despite its hardness and smoothness, it seemed just as sensitive as the wings.

   “Hubbard… can you stop?”

   “Why?” He asked, and moved closer to the edge of the bed and Tang Lan’s back. When he leaned forward, he kissed the valley between the scaled shoulder blades.

   “Ih… I’m really gonna lose it.” Tang Lan’s voice got a higher pitch suddenly.

     Hubbard smiled before he slid down into a kneeling position behind Tang Lan to embrace him with his free arm. The wings relaxed and hung down the sides, letting him lean on Tang Lan’s back. His own shoulder ached a little, but it was nothing that Hubbard couldn’t rule out of his mind. With his injured hand, he carefully hugged Tang Lan’s chest in a position, where both of them remained comfortable, while with his left he found Tang Lan’s fingers again, and intertwined them on his belly. They moved closer to each other: Hubbard sat on his heels, and Tang Lan could take his place on his lap. In this posture, they didn’t have to hold up their bodies, they could lean to the divan bed’s mattress.

     Tang Lan turned his head towards him, resting it on Hubbard’s left shoulder. Tang Lan’s wings twitched a few times, but still hung submissively. His body felt easy, and also heavier than Hubbard anticipated. It was his turn to rest his chin on Tang Lan’s shoulder, listening to the slow, calm breath.

     The fire had already been extinguished, and the room was filled with pale green light from the aurora. Now it seemed cold as well. Hubbard’s fever definitely went down, and stopped giving him the extra heat.

     However, Tang Lan was still burning. Hubbard was slow this time: he had to think about it a bit before he realised that Tang Lan did not only bring him here in five days – which meant that he must have been driving for at least two or three days straight – but probably also kept guarding him while he was unconscious. He also got them food, so he walked around the building, injured. If someone needed rest, it was him. This time, Hubbard wanted to be the one who hugged his lover until he lost contact with the outside world.

     He broke the silence.

   “I’ll take care of you from now on, sleep.”

     Tang Lan’s head fell on Hubbard’s neck, pressed his hot forehead to his jawline, and didn’t answer. His breath evened and slowed down. Hubbard sighed deeply, starting to feel the increasing pain in his shoulder and chest, but he suppressed it, while he stood up. He had to take Tang Lan on his left shoulder to lift him to the divan bed, which took him a while with Tang Lan having his wings out. He was heavier than Hubbard thought, but the fact he didn’t wake up just assured him that his lover hadn’t slept for days.

     By the time Hubbard made him comfortable, dawn arrived, and the room was filled with cold light. Hubbard sat on the chair that Tang Lan used before, and watched him sleeping peacefully. Hubbard turned him on his belly, so his wings wouldn’t be squeezed under his back. But it was a funny scene… the huge extra limbs barely fit for leaning on such a narrow bed. One of them Hubbard folded over the backrest, and the other one was hanging down to the floor. If Tang Lan hadn’t been passed out so deeply, this would be still an uncomfortable position…

     Hubbard watched him in the growing cold light. Tang Lan’s pale face smoothed out, his long lashes covered his whole eyes, his hair stuck on his face here and there from sweat. Maybe Hubbard just imagined it in the dimly lit room, but he saw a brief smile on those lips as well. Holding his chin in his palm, elbowing on the handrest of the chair, Hubbard smiled back.

     He sat for hours with that unmoving mannequin-Tang Lan in his room, and he remembered the pain he felt on those nights. Seeing him not responding didn’t help Hubbard to accept his absence. In fact, Hubbard thought it made it worse, eventually. Every time he looked at it, it became harder to keep himself to the possibility of Tang Lan being alive. His team did everything to keep him sane. They accompanied him again and again in a search mission, even though they went through every area at least twice. When there was a high possibility that Tang Lan died, Hubbard learned that he actually couldn’t handle this feeling at all. If not for his team and that tiny hope, he would’ve ended himself already.

     Now, knowing that Tang Lan was not a mannequin, but just a sleeping beauty, and that he will wake up, and smile at him, wanting to touch him, and wanting Hubbard to touch him… He felt like he had everything he needed.

     It was impossible to see the future – the real one – and maybe all of those negative visions were just Tang Lan’s feelings and thoughts. But as long as they would stay, he will make sure not to lose the purpose of his life ever again. Even if it means that he needs to tie Tang Lan to himself. He will never leave his side again, and when the time comes, he will leave this world with him on his side.

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