The assessment was the weirdest experience Lu Feng had ever encountered, yet the most… stressful one. He had to make sure to give the best possible answers, regarding his memories, but then, he was given a bunch of tasks that he had no right answer for.

     He had to look at pictures. In the pictures, there were unrecognisable lines and patches all over the place; sometimes the two sides were mirrored, sometimes not. The doctors – there were three, and six Judges, apart from the Arbiter, who seemed to be training his next subordinates, while the doctors were leading the tests – asked him to tell what he sees on those pictures.

     First, he told them, he sees patches of inks, but then, after hearing a light chuckle from the Judges’ line, the head physician asked him to try to project his thoughts into the pictures, and try to find familiar shapes and forms in them.

     Thus, eventually, Lu Feng found all the butterflies, all the human figures, all the flowers and stars, and the landscapes they asked for.

     Then he got a paper he had to fill in. There were 50 questions in total, completely unrelated to his case or anything that Lu Feng had experienced – for example, he got ones like: “do small mistakes cause you to doubt your overall abilities and knowledge”, or “do you feel insecure often?”, or “are you confident that things will work out for you?”.

     Although, all of them seemed general questions, at some point Lu Feng wondered if the Arbiter had put them to the test because while reading, occasionally he felt that the young man scrutinized him, and he almost heard his voice in his head, asking those questions.

     Then, it was over. Lu Feng had to wait until the professors and Judges finished analyzing his answers. He had been taken back to his hospital room. He was alone, and had nothing to do. He stood in the window, and played with the bullet in his neck, zoned out, looking at the sunset on the horizon. Various thoughts ran through his head, and his mind was as noisy as he had ever been before. He frowned. The human brain was not only complicated, but also tiresome.

     He couldn’t help but remember the conversation with the Arbiter earlier today.

     He saw every single detail of that face in the orange sky. Not only the smile, but the flashing pain and the expectant light in his eyes too. He felt like the Arbiter tried to form some sort of connection with him. But yet he was too inexperienced with human feelings. He didn’t understand, what the Arbiter was trying to achieve.

     When the room was already dim, knocking came from his door, and looking in that direction, he saw the person in his thoughts step out into existence, as the Arbiter let himself in.

   “We analyzed your answers.” He started, walking to him with his hands in his pocket. His military uniform with the badge now radiated leisureliness more than strictness. He stopped at Lu Feng’s side. “The result is… you are free to go.”

   “I’m clear… for now?” asked Lu Feng, remembering how the Arbiter explained the thirty-day trial. The young man smiled at him.

   “Yes. For now. I will be heading towards my adjutant’s place. I know you live there. Do you need a ride, or do you want to drive yourself?”

     Actually, Lu Feng had no idea how to get to his flat from here, so after some quick consideration, he nodded. In addition, he still wasn’t sure how to drive.

     Lu Feng only had to change, and he was good to go – he only had one bag with him, apart from his equipment. The Arbiter said, he will be waiting for him downstairs, and when Lu Feng went down, and exited at the hospital’s entrance, he saw him speaking on his device, called a communicator. Lu Feng had one too, but he didn’t really know, how to use it, or whom he should call. It seemed like his human “ancestor” had no business using it too much either.

     The Arbiter stood beside a black car when he arrived at his side. The young man hung up the call when he noticed him approaching, and he opened the door in the passenger seat.

   “Do you still have your ID card, right? You should eat a proper meal at the canteen. I can imagine how insipid these hospital foods were.”

   “It was alright.” Lu Feng found the food very pleasing, so he couldn’t understand, what he was talking about. Regardless, he indeed started to feel hungry again.

     The Arbiter was a good driver. He wasn’t going too fast, and took the corners carefully, not rushing forward on the streets. There weren’t many people around at this time of the day, but Lu Feng occasionally could catch some casual-clothed figures. The streetlamps evenly flickered in the car as they passed under them, flooding the dark space with strong, white light.

   “It was my first kill.”

     Lu Feng was almost startled when the Arbiter suddenly spoke into the silence. The young man’s eyes were on the road. He stretched out both arms, clenching his fist around the wheel. After a little while, he continued.

   “I started my job at sixteen years old.” He said in the usual, casual tone, with a brief softness in his voice. “My ability to recognise xenogenics broke the records. That’s the only reason why the military let me join the Trial Court… I got the job, and soon… after one year of service, I was as the Arbiter. On my first day… it was the first time when I killed someone. Until that point, I was only inspecting and studying the previous Arbiter. It was… much more impactful than I thought it would be.”

     Lu Feng stayed silent, listening to the young man’s story. It seemed like the Arbiter felt comfortable around him, telling him these things. Contrary to Dr Ji, it was pleasant to hear his voice, and even when he was talking about a sad experience, Lu Feng wanted to hear more, and he had no problem understanding his words.

   “That is… the bullet on my necklace. My first kill.”

     The rose suddenly understood the situation. Not to form a bond between them, but because Lu Feng couldn’t figure this out before, the Arbiter just gave away the answer. Lu Feng frowned. Did the Arbiter really think, he would know about this, or understand it without words? Do humans possess such abilities? Or was it a very popular and well-known fact? Maybe everyone knew about it.

   “I see. Sorry if I forgot.”

   “Huh?” The Arbiter glanced at him, and let out a small chuckle. It was a familiar chuckle, and while he replied, Lu Feng realised, he heard it before in the assessment room. “No, you probably never heard about it. I mean, I wasn’t sure. Jibran… Dr Ji told me, that you’re not prone to gossip, and you’re not interested in other people’s personal histories. So, I wasn’t sure, if you even cared to know about this. Well, it’s not that infamous either. I bet many people don’t remember it by now.”

     This description fits Lu Feng indeed.

   “So it is a memento for you too.”

   “Yes. A memento about how important every life is, yet how hard my job is.”

     Lu Feng inadvertently thought about the overheard conversation in the morning, and after a small pause, he asked:

   “Is there someone, who dislikes you?” But as soon as he said that, he realised, his mother said to be hateful towards the Arbiter. The young man hesitated for a moment.

   “Most people in the base dislike me.”

     Lu Feng genuinely didn’t understand this.

    “Just because of the killing?” The Arbiter stayed silent, but Lu Feng wanted to understand. “Will they execute you?”

     He didn’t realise this might have been a question too strange to ask, but the Arbiter let out another small laugh, and looked at him for a second.

   “Just because? Isn’t that enough? Well, whether they would execute me or not, doesn’t really matter. I have to do my job, and I’m determined to protect them, even when they want to execute me. I will do it until I’m physically unable to.”

     Lu Feng wouldn’t mind, if this route was a bit longer because he wanted to hear more about this, but even with the slow pace, the car swept through the streets pretty quickly, and soon enough, they arrived at a residential area. After the young man parked, they’d gotten out, and started walking towards a relatively tall building with many floors, but much smaller windows.

     They weren’t talking anymore, stepping into the building, bathing in warm, yellow lights. Lu Feng still felt overwhelmed by these huge areas and buildings, and deep down he felt a tiny frustration – there was no nature in this city. Everything was concrete, metal and iron. Artificial. There were no plants either. It was just him.

     They went up to the top floor in an elevator. On that floor, there was one door crossed over with a tape, and another, which was free.

   “You should take out your ID card.”

     Lu Feng was about to do that, but now, that the Arbiter’s playful sentence was already in the air between them, he felt a brief awkwardness again. He just nodded, put his card into the scanner, and opened his door.

   “Then, I’m sure we will meet again soon. If something comes up that you want to tell me…” The young man took out his communicator, and pressed some buttons, before looking up at him. Lu Feng waited for him to finish, confused, until he heard the muffled noise coming from his bag. When he opened up, he saw his own communicator going crazy, indicating that someone called him. When he fished it out, he saw a row of numbers on the screen. At the same moment, the Arbiter hung up the call, and the ringing stopped.” That is my number. Have a good night, Lieutenant Lu.”

     And just like that, the Arbiter entered the elevator, and went down.

     Lu Feng was already in the shower, when he realised, that the young man didn’t have to come up with him to the top floor. His destination was clearly somewhere else.

*

     The rose had gotten used to the human routines by the time his first day of being a free citizen arrived. He got three days of paid leave, and he had a big plan for those three days. If everything goes well, this person, Lu Feng, will never go to work again, and… he will be with his family. He was yearning for them now – he thought about them every night, unable to sleep. He also tried to change his body at will, to practice turning back to his flower form, but without actual soil, he couldn’t complete the transformation – his roots would suffer too much without the protection of the earth.

     So, right after he ate his breakfast in the dining hall – which was so delicious, that he understood the Arbiter’s judgment on the hospital menu now – he headed right to the Garden of Eden.

     He already made his observations, and he arrived flawlessly at the huge building with the dome he was seeing from the hospital. With his ID card, he had access to almost every facility. There was some benefit of his ancestor’s military rank.

     There was a reception counter not far from the entrance, and he knew, Lu Feng had to make a notice when he arrived. His mother had to answer before he could go up.

     There was something, he wasn’t aware of: the true purpose of the Garden of Eden. Maybe because he only came here for his mother, or because his childhood wasn’t that exciting, and Lu Feng blocked it out from his memory… but he realised, going up to the 22nd floor, that this place was full of human buds. They were so tiny, even tinier than the Arbiter, miniature forms of the adult people, and just as peachy and chubby as his buds in the past. Sometimes his branches would break from their weight.

     He was quite fond of the human buds. They didn’t approach him, but they were bustling, rustling, lively and shiny, their chit-chats were a bit overwhelming, but he liked it much more than other loud noises. Seeing them planted an unexpected craving for his family again. He unknowingly fastened his pace.

     The top floor was different. The corridors up there were less lively, and there weren’t many human buds, only females. They didn’t even look like anyone Lu Feng had met. All the women he passed by greeted him with a warm smile, and Lu Feng nodded as an answer.

     And as he went deeper, he frowned even more and more, slowing down his steps.

     It was very… very strange. Almost threatening.

     He felt that vibe again.

     He felt pollinators.

     Many, many pollinators. His ears began dulling from the strong waves that washed over him as if there was a full swarm of insects somewhere, ready to feast on his pollen.

     Was he just confusing this with human lust for mating?

     But if that’s the case… just how promising Lu Feng’s body were to these people? The way Anthony and Vance wanted to pollinate him was nothing compared to this.

     Feeling distracted, he stepped into a bigger hall, and halted right away. His eyes caught the familiar-yet-strange figure of “his” mom, and the woman looked up immediately as he stepped in.

   “Lu Feng.”

     He couldn’t say a word, before the woman strode over. Another huge wave of fright washed over him, and he couldn’t help but step back.

     The woman halted in her steps, just two meters away from him. Her expressions changed rapidly, and her initial enthusiasm toned down in a second.

   “You don’t even want hugs anymore?”

     Human Lu Feng wasn’t the type who liked hugs; the rose remembered the hugs from his ancestor’s past, and he compared the feeling to those intrusive vines that suffocated other plants by eating all their nutrients, making them wither.

     He was still confused by all the strange waves around him, hence he reacted so carelessly, but the woman didn’t probe him anymore, and changed the topic.

   “I thought I will lose you too. I thought he will take you away from me.”

     The woman stepped back; she was a tall, mellow, older person, but she had an overall kind appearance, even in her white lab coat. Her black hair was lifted behind her head with a ponytail, and her eyes examined him solemnly.

     Lu Feng didn’t reply, but he was contemplating these words earnestly. He was certain, his mother was talking about the Arbiter.

   “I’m here.”

   “How much time do you have? Can we chat? Do you want some tea?”

   “I’m free all day. I also wanted to chat with you. Can we… go somewhere more… private?”

     Behind the huge presence of his pollinators, he could feel it. Them. This whole city lacked nature, therefore from the vibrations of his species, even if they were so subtle, he knew they were close.

   “… of course.”

     His mother seemed slightly puzzled, but she got over it very quickly. Lu Feng assumed, that this was the first time her son initiated a talk with her, maybe in a long time. He reminded himself that he had to act as Lu Feng, but it was hard for him to keep his cool with the current circumstances. The overwhelming feeling of the bug swarm made him tense, and the closeness of his true family chipped away his patience.

     His request was fulfilled.

     Leaving behind the few women in the hall, striding through other corridors and a smaller hall… they arrived at the dome.

     Lu Feng didn’t realise before, that the entire dome was made of glass, so the sunlight came directly from the blue sky, not leaving space for lurking shadows. It was a very idealistic, wind- and danger-protected place for the flowers.

     His heart skipped a beat when he saw them.

     They were much livelier he’d ever suspected it. Warmness flowed through his body, and he immediately smelled the sweet, strong fragrance of the roses.

     They weren’t the same as his last form before he took on Lu Feng’s body. Well, they weren’t xenogenics either. They were just roses… with strong stems, big thorns, even bigger heads, full colours on their layered petals, and all of them seemed to be made of velvet. He reached his hand to touch them.

     He didn’t notice when his legs carried him closer. He didn’t hear or see anything else, just his family.

     Strictly speaking, they were distant relatives. Lu Feng could see and feel the differences between him and these roses. Humans did something with them, and made them evolve into a slightly richer shape. They were also much taller than him. For a moment, he wasn’t sure, if he could just blend into these roses. If he decides to stay here, someone will discover him, being completely different from the other roses… Would they dig him out and kill him? Or would they let him stay regardless of how withered he looks?

   “Lu Feng?”

     Lu Feng was pulled back from his deep thoughts, and he felt dazed out.

     Madam Lu stood nearby, and looked at him with an indescribable expression. Lu Feng withdrew his arm, and tried to compose himself. He cannot just turn into a flower now. He has to wait just a bit longer. If someone would witness his transformation, he would be killed, for sure.

   “Yes, mother.”

   “I didn’t expect you to love these roses so much. When I sent you a bouquet in the past, you always sent it back to me.”

     Lu Feng licked his lips.

   “They were beautiful.” He said calmly. “But I don’t like cut flowers. I would rather keep them here to strive. This is why I brought them for you. Not to cut them.”

     It was probably a lie. Or a half lie. Or rather… his ancestor simply didn’t care. He didn’t want gifts from his mother, and he felt like flowers would not fit his lifestyle anyway. But the rose just felt heartbroken, knowing that people cut flowers and put them into vases as decorations. He absolutely could feel pain when something cut him, and water alone would never heal or ease that pain. And sure enough, those flowers would wither within a few days. They needed soil to stay alive. Cutting them, and putting them into water was like a death sentence, slowly dying off far from the soil, not being able to go back to the earth and nurture the next generation.

   “Oh…” His mother got over her surprise. She showed a warm smile at him. “I didn’t know this. This is… somehow unexpectedly kind of you, but I just realised, it is exactly my son. Sorry. I will not send more flowers. You can come and see them anytime you want.”

     Lu Feng didn’t answer. He knew that the human Lu Feng wasn’t a regular visitor here. Actually, remembering what Dr Ji told him on the plane, he suspected that Lu Feng was often avoidant contacting her. But he wasn’t sure of the reason. He didn’t find it in Lu Feng’s memories. At this point, he almost felt like he, as a rose, stood closer to the Arbiter, than the human Lu Feng to his mother.

     He looked at the roses again, and the woman came closer too. She also reached out, and kindly stroked some of the buds and petals. A light shiver ran through Lu Feng’s back. He knew that feeling. This was the exact sensation he felt in the wilderness, far, far away from here.

     This woman… cared for the roses with all of her heart.

     Suddenly, a word floated up in his head.

     Love.

     Vance asked about this, but Lu Feng couldn’t understand.

     She loved the flowers, and the flowers loved her too. Even if these flowers weren’t xenogenics like him, he could feel their emotions when the human touched them. A light, pleasant vibration that enveloped the plants all the way to their roots… if they could speak, they would sing now. If they could see, they would look at her with awe.

     Lu Feng felt relief. This was a good place for his family. When he first learned about the harsh fate of his species, and how he was the sole survivor on the wasteland, he felt lost. But now, that lonely feeling finally started to elevate from his heart.

     A bench ran along the bedding’s edge where they could sit. The flowers showered them with their fragrance from behind.

   “Are you not hurt? What did they do to you in the hospital? I wanted to go and see you, but they didn’t let me. They said… it was the Arbiter’s order.”

     Lu Feng should’ve guessed this reasoning. He was not clear from suspicion, so the Arbiter didn’t let people get close to him, in order not to get infected. Although, Lu Feng was uncertain whether he could infect anyone in this state.

     He summarised his experiences with the assessment.

     His mother frowned.

   “They had done these tests so many times, how much do they want to test you still? Isn’t the Arbiter the best of knowing if someone is infected or not?” There was some sharpness in her words. “He is the one who should do these tests regularly. Shedding so much blood every day… I’m so glad you didn’t go to his department.”

     Lu Feng wanted to say something when a feeling appeared in his heart.

     Right… Lu Feng wanted to go to the Trial Court. But after receiving several calls from his mother, he gave in to the pressure, and went to the United Front Center. He gave up his dream for his mom.

     There was a small turbulence in his heart, and he was torn. He felt close to Lu Feng, for many reasons, not because he wore his body. But overall… his own plan was only to be with his family. These complicated intricacies were far from him. Lu Feng’s multilayered feelings and purposes were far from him. Problems between individuals in the base… these were all human matters. He was only a human just over a week ago. It was an exciting experience, but he was exhausted from the insane amount of stimuli and brainwork they put up with on a daily basis.

     He shouldn’t care much, because once he decides to plant his root in this soil – or leave with seeds – everything will be over. This exciting and overwhelming story would end.

     Yet… he felt urged to speak up.

   “Mother… I…” He didn’t really know, how to tell Lu Feng’s and his own feelings without causing too much trouble. “I still want to go there.”

     The expression on the woman’s face froze. The rose decided to tell how Lu Feng felt before his death, as a last message that he could deliver to his family before he joined his own.

   “I only volunteered at my current place, because you asked me. But I want to go there. I don’t think that place is worse than any other unit in the military. I was… interested in xenogenics. I wanted to go out more. I wanted to explore the world more. I was thinking of… asking for a reassignment from the military eventually.”

     As he spoke, these feelings returned one after another, and the blacked-out spots started to clear up. The rose still didn’t understand many things. But it occurred to him right in this moment: he couldn’t remember the Trial Court, because Lu Feng forced himself not to think about it, and he did it not to feel resentment towards his mother, and yearning towards the job he originally wanted to take. 

   “… you… why would you still…” The woman was whispering, and her face showed disbelief and disappointment. “After what happened, you still…”

     Lu Feng stayed calm. It was the human Lu Feng’s wish to go to the Trial Court, and he will be dead in the eyes of the humans soon, so it didn’t matter what he felt over her reaction, yet, he was a bit confused.

   “After… what happened?” He asked.

     His mother pressed her lips together, taking her time for a reply.

   “You know very well what happened.” She said at last in a low voice.

   “I don’t.”

     He felt the increasing tension, and soon enough, Madam Lu jumped on her feet, and went farther away from him.

   “You’ve been infected.”

     Lu Feng’s heart stopped for a moment. He did not expect this turn, and he felt like a cold wave rushed through his body. He had to come up with a good answer – he obviously didn’t want to hurt this person for his own protection, but the consequences of being exposed were sitting on his shoulders heavily.

     However, his mother turned around to look at him, her face presented deep sadness.

   “First, it was Jibran… I should’ve known when they started working together, that you would be affected by their bond too. Was it Dr Ji, who turned you? Or was the… You’ve been in contact with him in these past few days, this must be the reason. You wouldn’t be siding with him otherwise.”

     By the time she started murmuring these last words, Lu Feng had calmed down, realising that his mother was talking about something else, not his actual case of infection. 

   “You mean, the Arbiter?” Lu Feng asked, slowly connecting the dots. Madam Lu’s face twitched, but her eyes began growing frost on her pupils. The sadness was slowly covered by cold anger.

   “You’ve never believed me, have you?”

     Lu Feng was speechless. He didn’t know what this question was about, and his mother’s next move surprised him even more: her shoulders suddenly dropped, and her eyes got misty as if the frost melted right away. She turned away.

   “Please, go.”

     Lu Feng stayed still. Now, he was the one who froze; he wanted to stay with his flowers, but… regardless of the argument, he couldn’t do that just yet – he had to come back at some other time, with no one around anyway. However, he was still dumbfounded. He couldn’t grasp the dynamic of Lu Feng’s and his mom’s relationship – he didn’t know, why she sent him away.

     He reluctantly stood up.

     His mom did not look at him anymore, but she was getting ready to give water to the flowers, which was still a caring move from her, so as long as she did that, Lu Feng felt like he should not push this conversation for the time being.

     He left.

     He didn’t favour this feeling; it was like a task he couldn’t finish. He had so many emotions in his chest, yet he couldn’t show or tell half of them. He really wanted to show the true side of Lu Feng to his mother, but maybe he just did something bad.

     He wandered off the building, and standing on the side of the road, he didn’t know, where to go.

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